Area Man’s Cousin Knows a Guy
Local sources have confirmed that local student James Beachâs, WCAS â19, cousin knows a guy.
Local sources have confirmed that local student James Beachâs, WCAS â19, cousin knows a guy.
He also repeatedly emphasizes that he has only consumed alcohol, and not âthe evil plant.â
Northwesternâs Fappa Fappa Fappa chapter added a Dillo-themed banner to the ranks of anti-rape slogans hung on fraternity houses around campus.
âWhen I saw âjackoff69@gmail.com has sent you an e-cardâ in my inbox, why, my heart was all of a flutter,â Macy McDonald said.
“If this continues much longer, we’ll have to lay down the law.”
After much deliberation, the freshman decided to take a risk and commit to economics, a decision his mother called âbrave and very unique.â
Surrounded by a haunted-looking Chris Christie, an ebullient Hillary Clinton, and several Miss Universe contestants, Trump began his speech by saying âWell, that was easy.â
Instead of jumping off a bridge, jump into a new line of work and announce to your parents not that youâre an abject failure but that you need to truly find yourself.
âYou know, I had a lot of jobs to choose between. Iâm a pretty desirable candidate.â
During a review session for the Econ 202 Midterm, sources have reported that local asshole Jeremy Crack (WCAS â19) commandeered the entire session.