George R.R. Martin Kills Off Clayton Thorson
Sources are reporting Thorson’s roommate found his body and called the police at approximately 7:35 PM, Thursday evening.
Category Archives: No. 176
Student Comes Out to Parents As SESP Transfer
With family weekend imminent, former engineer and freshman Cole Thompson finally came out to his parents as an SESP transfer. “I just had to—I couldn’t keep living a lie,” Cole said.
OPINION: Let’s Start a Dialogue
But before we start this dialogue, we should have another dialogue regarding the “ground rules” for this dialogue to ensure that the actual dialogue we have is as fruitless and inoffensive as possible.
Area Student Enlists Dad as Wingman
Faced with the possibility of dragging his loathsome virginity into the third month of college, Thompson requested that when his dad comes for Family Weekend, he brings his game.
Self-Published Author Sells Exactly as Many Copies as He Expected
Self-published author and stay-at-home dad Roger Slate proudly announced this past weekend that his latest novel Long Live Louis King met his lofty goal of selling thirty-five copies.
Area Orphan Not Really Looking Forward to Family Weekend
Multiple sources are reporting that area orphan Nelly Pager, WCAS ’19, is allegedly not terribly excited about the extensive programming Northwestern has planned for its annual Family Weekend.
Northwestern Falls to Bye Week
In a back and forth game that came down to the wire, Northwestern could not overcome the daunting opponent and lost to the bye week.
Area Pagan Offended By Culturally-Appropriating Halloween Celebration
Local resident Miles Bell, 28, was outraged by the cultural appropriation of paganism that took place his past Halloween.
Big Ten Announces New 8 a.m. Start Times for Northwestern Home Games
The Big Ten announced Monday in a press conference that all Northwestern home football games will now start at 8:00 a.m.
Fat Old Guy to Say Some Words
Sources report that a fat old guy is going to say some words during a speech on November 4th at Northwestern.