Here’s How We Fix Northwestern Football, Part One: Ryan Field
Ryan Field’s location doesn’t make a lick of sense. What the hell, guys!?! We say we’re Chicago’s Big Ten team, and then we put our games in fucking Evanston. Huh?
Category Archives: No. 125
Northwestern University Wins Hearts and Minds of Illinois
“The annual game between Northwestern University and the University of Illinois is one of the greatest traditions in the whole state,” said Emma Martinez, Emeritus Professor of Illinois Studies at the University of Notre Dame.
Area Snowman Braces for Finals
The stress of impending finals is taking a hard toll on McFrostkins. “I haven’t had time to laugh and play in weeks,” he said. “And I keep hearing this strange beating noise in my head—thumpety thump thump, thumpety thump thump—it’s driving me mad.”
SLIDESHOW: The Flipside Attends a Football Game
As the football season draws, or crawls, to a close, The Flipside would like to take a moment to reflect on some of the most iconic moments of this season. We have laughed, we have cried, we really never stopped crying. This photo slideshow captures the highlights from our narrow blowout defeat to Wisconsin.
OPINION: The War on Black Friday Must End Now
Thanks to the unavoidable “Christmas creep,” Cyber Monday, and this year’s Thanksgiving Day sales, Black Friday no longer signifies the designated celebration of capitalist excess it used to.
BREAKING: Students Staying for Thanksgiving Are Totally Okay with It
“Yeah man, I don’t miss my family at all. Bunch of… people… I don’t like…”
White Guilt, Jewish Guilt to Converge on Same Night
Aging Jewish seniors have already begun preparing passive-aggressive emotional blackmail for their children, grandchildren, and friends, setting a minimum quota of convincing at least TWO family members to purchase houses within a mile radius of their own.
Chet Haze: Where Is He Now?
Life without everyone’s favorite rapper, philosopher and Wildcat has left the Northwestern student body struggling to find its way without Chet’s artistic talent and thoughtful Twitter insights.
Alaskan Student Finally Decides to Shut Dorm Room Window
On a side note, a new campus policy has been implemented banning polar bears as pets.
Report: Daily Northwestern Still a Thing, Apparently
The editorial staff of one of Northwestern’s oldest and least-read student publications has confirmed that the heavily-outdated form of media it calls The Daily is still alive and well, and in fact is still trying to deliver news to Northwestern students and Evanston residents alike.