Government Shutdown Effectively Ends Racism
By closing all national parks, the Ku Klux Klan was forced to cancel their rally in Gettysburg National Military Park. As a result, the shutdown has ended racism.
Category Archives: No. 117
Cru Converts Student to Christianity, a First-Ever Accomplishment for the Group
Even though Cru’s rate of conversion has always been 0%, Cru has never given up knocking on NU students’ doors. Their mission is to spread awareness of a religion that is already practiced by 80% of the country and that is well-understood by anyone who doesn’t live under a rock.
Easyjet Refuses All Passengers Named “Bertha” and We Don’t Blame Them
“Stay there, we’ll fly without you.”
You Better Fucking Believe There are Girls at This Party, Sources Say
According to sources deep in the heart of the fraternity quad, you better go all-in on that party tonight, because wow, is there some serious babe-age over there.
Yes, I Was Drunk at Convocation. What of It?
I told myself I would only have a couple drinks. Just enough to ease my nerves for the convocation speech, you know? But PTI kept handing me shot after shot. She may not look it, but let me tell you, PTI can really throw it down.
CIA World Factbook: Fitzerland
Official Languages: Bromanian, Keg-tapanese, Coorsican
My Angry Feminist Roommate Thinks Homecoming is Unfeministic
Homecoming is NOT an appropriate manifestation of sex-positive feminism, and I cannot continue to just stand by while the Gender Studies department completely ignores the issue.
McCormick Student Lays Trail of Breadcrumbs to Avoid Getting Lost in Tech
Weinberg Student Follows Trail in Hopes of Finding a Major
The Flipside Nominates the 2013 Homecoming Court
As the only satirical newspaper on campus, The Northwestern Flipside feels proud (and obligated) to nominate its first annual Homecoming Court and recognize the most notable members of the Northwestern and surrounding Evanston community.
Weinberg Freshman Drops Out of NU, Hired at Strip Club
“At first I was, like, really excited about college and all,” DeLuca told her advisor. “But then, like, I was in Intro to International Relations and it seemed like I was like, going to have to read a lot. That’s, like, bullshit.”