Remembering a Legend
Category Archives: No. 116
NCAA to Compensate Student Athletes with Free Copies of NCAA Football 15
First Day of Classes Results in Dearth of Flipside Content
“It’s sad we don’t have anything to put on our website today,” agreed President Andrew Schneider. “Our Facebook page is going to have embarrassingly little content on it this week.”
Chicago Manual of Style Updates Guidelines to Include “No Ketchup”
Sophomore Doesn’t Leave Allison For Eleven Days Running
“Forget going to the frat quad,” says Langlois. “Allison now has everything you could possibly need, like wallpaper that looks like electrophoresis, a printer with no paper, and doors that don’t prop open.”
Sophmore Dies of Internal Bleeding Following 20th Successive “Welcome Back” Hug
Freshmen Realize School Starts Soon
Lily Sanders noted, “I loved making new friends, learning new things, and having fun during Wildcat Welcome. I’ll never be able to do those things again once classes start.”
Essential NU Bingo
God Watches, Horrified, as Cru Member Turns off Another Freshman from Religion Forever
God the Almighty became increasingly agitated as Tolbert entered Anthony’s dorm room, sans invitation, to begin a frank and invasive conversation about Jesus Christ.
Disillusioned Sophomore: “Man, But Actually, **** School!”