Debate Covers Every Topic Except Foreign Policy
Category Archives: No. 90
Debate Proves Candidates Will Argue About Seriously Anything
BOCA RATON, FL — At the third presidential debate at Lynn University, where the median student age is 75 years old, undecided voters finally had the opportunity to see just how far Governor Romney and President Obama will go to criticize each other. The two candidates were in top form as they displayed their ability to dispute literally anything. Romney and Obama sparred on topics such as the war in Afghanistan, relations with China, and the proper pronunciation of ātomatoā,
Area Man Telling You How Youāre a Propaganda-Spewing Sheep
FACEBOOK ā- Following your decision to watch a Presidential debate and post a Facebook status in support of your preferred candidate, area man William Burton, whom sources indicate you dimly remember from your days in summer camp, has already left three lengthy comments on your original post detailing exactly how and why you are a propaganda-spewing shill for an illegitimate political movement. Burton began his tirade by telling you how ādisappointedā he was to see you supporting a rival politician
Entire Population of Long Island Goes Missing
LONG ISLAND, NY — In a bizarre coincidence, Northwestern University welcomed studentsā family and friends for their annual family weekend from Friday October 19 to Sunday October 21, and the entire population of Long Island, New York has gone missing. āWhereād they go?ā cried Syosset Mayor Rich Goldman. The islandās population was discovered missing on Friday night, when nearby Manhattan resident Aaron Weiner drove up to surprise his sister, her husband, and their two kids.Ā āI was feeling lucky because the