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Category Archives: Year 4
Allison Hall and Bobb McCulloch Listed as “In a Relationship”
Student Skips Midterm to Attend Midterm
Penn State Recruiting Class Shaping Up Nicely
TLC Honors Gaddafi by Airing “What Not to Wear”
Area Girl Skips Pretense, Just Dresses as a Slut
While her friends decided to go as traditional sexy characters like naughty nurses and French maids or wear nonsensical sexy inanimate object costumes, like a sexy Mrs. Potato Head or a slutty pumpkin, Engel made the bold decision to just go as a slut.
Autopsy reveals Gaddafi died after tripping over his own name
TRIPOLI – An autopsy performed on the body of Muammar Gaddafi revealed that the former Libyan premier died not from a gunshot wound as was originally believed but instead from blunt force trauma sustained when he tripped over the spelling of his own name. He promptly went tumbling down the stairs in his Sirte safe house, causing internal injuries from which he would not recover. One of Gaddafi’s right hand men, Tarek Al-Abgari, confirmed this finding. “He was just standing
Junkies Discover the Rock “Ain’t No Crack Rock”
EVANSTON – Evanston junkies were outraged yesterday when they found out Northwestern University’s beloved Rock is, in fact, just a rock. A recent increase of recreational crack-cocaine users on the Northwestern University campus has stirred up some talk on campus. However with all the work, the cold settling in, and the football team unable to stop any team’s offence, their presence isn’t quite at the top of anyone’s worries list. It turns out the drug users have been flocking to
10 Points for Hufflepuff: A Magical Account of a Freshman’s Halloween Night
The following document was discovered on the bathroom floor of the North-Mid Quads Hall on the morning of November 1, 2011. Written in a hurried scrawl on parchment, our editors did their best to decipher the piece, allegedly written after the local Psi-Phi Fraternity’s themed party: I think the scar really did the trick. Through the glow of the club lights, I could tell Beth was down for some snogging. We locked eyes from across the room, she in her
Occupy Oakland Moves to San Francisco
“We’re out here protesting for real American jobs, not Oakland jobs.”