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Category Archives: Year 4

SOPA Uproar Leads Area Man to Discover Internet for First Time

January 30, 2012 Chandler Dutton Leave a comment

A special editorial from area man Bob McCulloghy So this past Sunday night, I was flipping through the most recent issue of Life Magazine, watching some good ole’ public broadcast television – and I heard about this SOPA thing. Barbara Calhoun was reporting that if SOPA happened, this thing called ‘The Internet’ would start getting regulated by the government. Now I’m not normally one to judge the government – they’ve never done anything to me. Every day, I wake up

Lake Michigan Milk Spill Dubbed ‘Most Unexpected Disaster in History’ by President Obama

January 30, 2012 Brian Lee Leave a comment

MILWAUKEE – In response to the milk spill that covered the western rim of Lake Michigan with a layer of milk fat, President Obama visited the shores of Milwaukee to encourage the thousands of volunteers helping in the cleanup effort. The spilled milk has since spread over a large area, reaching as far as Western Michigan and the north shores of Chicago. Images of flocks of geese covered in milk fat have gathered attention from the press and garnered criticism

Northwestern Opens New Study Abroad Program in Plex

January 25, 2012 Sam Block Leave a comment

Read more Headline, No. 72

Italian Cruise Ship Runs Aground on Massive Stereotype

January 25, 2012 Andrew Gresik Leave a comment

GIGLIO, ITALY- Italian Coast Guard incident reports released exclusively to the Flipside have shed new light on the true cause of the Costa Concordia disaster. While the official reports have posited several theories (ranging from the sudden appearance of a beautiful woman on shore to repeated ship-to-shore telephone calls from the captain’s mother) as to why the ship ran aground and sank, transcripts from police interviews with Captain Francesco Schettino suggest otherwise. Twenty minutes into the interview, Schettino appears to

“Ask Kenan” But Not About Kel: Burger Magnate to Keep USDA Prime Secrets

January 24, 2012 Rachel Beal Leave a comment

EVANSTON — A&O Productions is thrilled to announce that winter speaker Kenan Thompson will be performing this Friday January 27, 2012 at Pick-Staiger Auditorium, and will answer questions in a brief Q&A period following his stand-up routine. As advertised on their “ASK KENAN” posters, A&O says students can feel free to ask the performer questions about any aspect of his rich television and film career, with the exception of any subjects related to his former co-star and business partner Kel

Read more Articles, Entertainment, No. 72

Al-Qaeda Admit That Mark Wahlberg Would Have Kicked Their Asses

January 24, 2012 Tom Schroeder Leave a comment

After Wahlberg claimed that “[the hijacking] wouldn’t have went down like it did” in a Men’s Journal interview, Al-Qaeda spokesmen ceded that years of planning and use of terror tactics would have completely unraveled in the steely, unsmiling face of the Contraband star.

Congress Discovers the Internet; Decides to Ban it

January 24, 2012 Nick Zessis Leave a comment

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Congress Orders Cussing Websites to Wash Their Mouths Out with SOPA

January 24, 2012 Brian Earl Leave a comment

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Big Oil Launches New Ad Campaign: “Keystone, You’re Soooo Crude!”

January 24, 2012 Andrew Schneider Leave a comment

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Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Causes Annual Peak In White Guilt

January 18, 2012 Tom Schroeder Leave a comment

EVANSTON – This past Monday, Caucasian students all over Northwestern’s campus banded together to feel collectively uncomfortable as the nation celebrated Martin Luther King Jr. Day. While a service day on Saturday and a Monday night vigil were held in King’s honor, the biggest tribute to his legacy was the multitude of slight sensations of guilt held within the hearts of all the privileged Aryan Northwestern students. “I spent the whole day feeling a vague sense of unease. Maybe I’m