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Category Archives: No. 55
How do I get off of this Listserv?
Seriously, how can I get off this thing? I’ve been getting these emails for like six months now ever since I put my name on some list at the events fair. I’ve never even been to an Outing Club meeting. I mean sure, rock climbing and kayaking sound great, but I just don’t have time for this stuff. How can I take my name off the list? I just don’t understand why I’m still on it. Don’t they, like, go
Fermilab Finds New Elementary Particle
BATAVIA, IL – Last Thursday, Fermilab researchers announced that after smashing a lot of things together moving really really fast, they finally discovered a new fundamental particle. Scientists have decided to call the particle a “brickon.” “At first we didn’t know what to make of this particle,” said Fermilab scientist Carl Jacobs. “In the past, we have observed entities that look like larger, differently colored versions of brickons, but this is the first time we have truly observed the particle
Student Contracts Deadly Disease After Setting Foot on Shower Floor
“I’ve started to lose feeling in my leg,” Gonzalez says. “Every time I take a step it feels really tingly, kind of like someone is stabbing me with a blade covered in hot sauce.”
Rambling, Incoherent Drug Addict Found on Soapbox in Detroit