Category Archives: No.50
Christopher Nolan to plant idea of Oscar nomination in Academyâs collective head
After failing to receive an Academy Award for Best Director nomination for his sci-fi film Inception this year and his superhero movie The Dark Knight in 2008, director Christopher Nolan announced today that he plans to plant the idea of a nomination in the head of each Academy member via the inception technique. âI specialize in a very specific kind of vote rigging.â explained Nolan, âSubconscious vote rigging.â Nolan laid out his detailed plan to The Flipside. âI plan on
NU Qatar Students Outraged Over Enforcement of Harem Law
DOHA, QATAR – Students at Northwestern University in Qatar have been up in arms over the cityâs claims that they will be stepping up enforcement of the infamous harem law. The harem law, which been on the books since the days of the sultans, prohibits a man from living with more than three wives in any building not specifically zoned to be a harem. Enforcement of the law has been lax, but due to a huge population boom in Doha,
Willard Residents Stop Showering for Month of February to Win Green Cup
EVANSTON —Â Willard residents have decided to take drastic measures in order to retain their title as the “Greenest Dorm (With a Dining Hall) on Campus” from the Green Cup last year. Most notably, all Willardites will forgo showers for the entire month of February to win the prestigious title in 2011. “Not showering for a whole month is really going to help secure our victory,” said Willard president Jackson Drapple. “Not to mention that it’s been proven that not taking
Nintendo Announces PokĂ©mon Generation VI: Sunni and Shi’ite
This article was conceived by Nick Platoff, Bienen 2014 TOKYO — Following the anticipated success of PokĂ©mon Black and White, Nintendo revealed that the sixth generation of the popular video game will have the âcolorsâ of Sunni and Shi’ite. Satoshi Tajiri, creator of the PokĂ©mon franchise, told the Flipside, âThe most recent PokĂ©mon games â Pearl and Diamond, Black and White â have been called âlameâ and âboring.â We clearly needed to make the next generation more exciting. Infusing the
Evanston Announces Reinstatement of Skipping Ban, Retracts Statement Five Seconds Later
EVANSTON — Evanston officials announced earlier today that an outdated law banning skipping anywhere in the city will be reinstated starting next month. “Anyone found moving in a light, springy manner by bounding forward with alternate hops on each foot will be arrested,” said Jerry Murton, Evanston’s Division Manager of Building and Inspection Services, at a press conference. “Whether the perpetrator is seen skipping in a store, on the street or in their own home, whether they are 6 years old or
Midwest Celebrates Beginning of Black History Month with a Whiteout
Pro Bowl 2011: AFC Quarterbacks Throw More Interceptions Than Completions; No One Cares
Americans Confused at Not Being Subject of Middle Eastern Protests
Texting While Jihad-ing: It Can Wait
TRIBAL PAKISTAN â Authorities recently revealed that a would-be Russian suicide bomberâs vest detonated prematurely in the outskirts of Moscow. The terrorist, who was scheduled to attack Red Square, was killed in her safe house after receiving an automated âHappy New Yearâ text from her wireless provider. In the following days, Al-Qaeda has launched a new PSA aimed at keeping their bombersâ phones where they belong: strapped to cases of PETN and ball-bearings. The new campaign, spearheaded by New York