No. 44 | Northwestern Flipside

Category Archives: No. 44

French Protesters Waking Up Before Noon for the First Time Since They Last Rioted

November 2, 2010 Andrew Schneider Leave a comment

MARSEILLE, FRANCE—French rioters, upset over proposed austerity measures that would see them working an additional 2 years before retirement, have taken to waking up at 10AM to prove just how serious they really are. “It’s all about the precedent,” 26-year-old government notary Paul Mailloux told me over a breakfast of freshly-baked breads and pastries as we sat down on the terrace of his high-rise apartment, enjoying the gorgeous view of Marseille’s famous Jardin des Vestiges. “If we give them a

Apple Releases Lion, Thirty-seven Dead at Microsoft

November 2, 2010 Tom Shimandle Leave a comment

Microsoft reps: “We were still recovering from Snow Leopard. That fucker has really messed up our customer base in Siberia.”

President of New Hipster Frat: We Were Greek Before it was Cool

November 1, 2010 Rhaina Cohen Leave a comment

EVANSTON—A new fraternity has recently joined the 17 nationally-recognized fraternities at Northwestern. Informally dubbed the “Hipster Frat,” the organization is currently unnamed. According to president Hudson Tyler, undecided Weinberg junior, frat names are too “mainstream” for the group. The fraternity claims that with its laid-back atmosphere it will offer an “alternative” experience at a college where everyone on North Campus except the Slivka kids are involved in Greek life. With a toss of his unwashed bangs, member Charles Kingston assured

Evanston Vampires Pretty Damn Tired of Spending All Their Time at Burger King

November 1, 2010 Chris Anderson Leave a comment

EVANSTON—If you ask any member of the Evanston vampire community, you’ll find they have something that’s been bothering them: they are getting pretty goddamn tired of spending all their time at Burger King. According to one such vampire, Count Wilhelm Von Terror, the Evanston undead scene lacks nearly all the amenities found in nearly all other cities. “Basically, you have two types of vampire hotspots around the world. There are your old vampire communities like Transylvania, where you spend most