Category Archives: Year 2

The Flipside is a Joke

EVANSTON—Northwestern University has a long tradition of great journalism. The Daily Northwestern and North by Northwestern are models of professionalism and journalistic excellence. Yet there is one publication that is an embarrassment to the Northwestern community, journalism, paper, its staff, and their mothers: The Northwestern Flipside. To be blunt, The Flipside is a joke. The writing is a shameless mockery of the journalistic style that we as Northwestern students have come to expect. It’s like a bunch of people just

Flipside Receives Medill F

EVANSTON—After thorough fact-checking, Medill professors and administrators unanimously awarded The Flipside an “F” for its inordinate amount of factual errors. “The content was exceptional, but there is no such person at Northwestern as ‘Weinberg freshman Joe Krawson,’” said a concerned Medill professor, after reading an article which he thought would profile a very successful student. In a further, shocking investigation, it was uncovered that The Flipside has never quoted a real person. Every single quote is false. The publication’s president

NU Students React to Tough University Sexile Policy

EVANSTON—Several Northwestern University students said Thursday that they hold relaxed views about “sexiling,” a slang word used to describe the act of barring a roommate from entry into living quarters to ensure privacy for intimate relations. “I think people have common sense,” said Joana Smith, Medill freshman. “Text if you’re going to bring someone home.” In college campuses across the country, “sexiling” has become an issue. Tufts University recently created a policy outlawing students from having sex while roommates are

The Flipside Recieves $100 to Further Unknown Publication

EVANSTON—The Northwestern Associated Student Government and Student Groups Committee gave the widely unknown Northwestern Flipside a whopping $100 to assist in the printing of its satirical publication. Despite applying for the money guaranteed to them as a T-status group in May of 2009, the now pending B-status group has largely been ignored until now. “It’s not that we needed the money for anything important,” Nick Zessis, the President and founder of The Flipside, told The Flipside. “I mean, we weren’t

Earthquake Hits Chile, U.S. out of Fundraising Ideas

SANTIAGO, CHILE—The earthquake that ravaged Chile this week has left millions of philanthropists confused. After contributing all their efforts to Haiti, people seem to have no charitable spunk left. After countless bakesales, Hulu ads, piggy-bank smashings, and illegal bootleggings for Haiti, people just don’t have any money left to give to Chile – or, for that matter, the desire to do so. CNN, in a desperate effort to stay hip, tried to rally their followers with tweets like “sux 4

Student Voted ‘Most Likely to Succeed’ Already Failing

EVANSTON—Weinberg freshman Joe Krawson disappointed his high school graduating class on Monday when he received a failing grade on his macro-economics midterm exam, earning only 23 points out of a possible 50. Only 6 months prior, the 382 seniors of Krawson’s Washburn High School in San Diego, California had voted him the male student “most likely to succeed.” In his position as senior class president at Washburn, Krawson was well-liked for reducing detentions by 40% and for planning “the best

UChicago Sends Rejected Applicants “Congratulation” Letters

CHICAGO—Often found fantasizing about what life would be like if he got into his college of choice, Stanford University, area high school senior Sam Nix was pleasantly surprised when he visited his mailbox Tuesday afternoon. It did not contain a letter from the private school in Palo Alto, CA, but a big packet was waiting from the University of Chicago. Largely unknown to commoners, this university is credited to starting nuclear warfare (and is subsequently blamed for the failure of

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