Flipside Investigation: Democracy Watchdog Ranks Among Us Above the United States in List of World’s Most Functioning Democracies
I took it upon myself to travel to The Skeld to investigate just how good of a democracy they have.
Category Archives: Year 13
Biden Mocks Trump Who âProbably Isnât Getting Laid At Allâ In Quarantine
âI really feel for Olâ Donald during his period of isolation. I simply cannot imagine a night without the tunes boppinâ, a drink in my hand, and a hot wife to rail, much less two weeks! Itâs truly a tragedy of our generation.â
Man Trying to Be Healthier Accidentally Buys Overripe Bananas, Must Bake Them into Banana Bread
Fuffler promised that his diet will be âall uphill once I finish this loaf.â
Report: Boomer Just Wants a Plain Black Coffee, None of That Soy Mocha Bullshit
Many of the boomers polled are members of Done with the Injustice of the Coffee Kraze (DICK), an organization founded by Jack Goff, 69, to give boomers a safe space to vent.
High School Senior Captions Selfie âvote :)â in Stunning Display of Activism
When asked what made her decide to take this stand, Collins explained, âI looked really good in the photo. Oh, you mean the caption? Well, I just wanted to make an impact and encourage people to be politically active!â
Dad Encourages Black Mold Growth in House to Create Dorm Experience for Quarantined Freshman Scheduled to Live in Bobb
âEvery day I hose down the walls. Then I turn on the heat on low, so we can marinate in the humidity.â
Local Sophomore Sexiles Self Just for the Nostalgia
Weinberg Sophomore Sarah Tennant is not on campus this quarter, but she has found one way to bring a little bit of the college experience home: by forcing herself out of her room while her âroommateâ has someone over. âI realized that online classes and virtual hangouts with friends werenât enough,â she said. âWhat I was really missing was awkwardly sitting in the dorm lounge trying not to think about my roommate and Kyle from Econ and what theyâre doing
Purell Fandom “Displeased” With Culture Going Mainstream
In recent months, the FDA has released several warnings about certain hand sanitizer companies producing faulty content. This downgrade in average quality of hand sanitizer has concerned epidemiologists and doctors alike, but most perturbed are longtime self-proclaimed members of the hand sanitizer fandom. âItâs just disappointing,â said Sandy Teiser, 33. âEven my son, who would never wash his hands when toldâlet alone use soapânow carries five bottles of half-rate hand sanitizer everywhere he goes. Thereâs no way to distinguish between
This Day In History: That Time When Your 3rd Grade Teacher Let Josh P. Recalibrate the SMARTBoard Pen
âYou know, it was completely unexpected,â said Parks, now 19. âWhen she called on me to recalibrate, I originally thought she meant the other Josh, Josh M. Never in a million years would I expect to be chosen for such a prestigious responsibility.â
Archaeology Club Hits Rock Bottom
âWe knew heâd dig himself into a hole sooner or later.”