Pence blames prostate exam on his exploratory phase in college, tells wife “I will do better next time”
What started as a routine check-up turned into an experience unlike any other, except maybe one other.
Category Archives: Year 13
Tim and Moby of BrainPOP Officially Come Out As Gay
The public response appears to be mostly positive. The LGBTQ+ community has been quick to embrace this advancement of relations between machine and man, hailing it as “the Third Industrial Revolution”.
Report: Candy Corn “Okay”
“Both candy corn and its enjoyers have no taste, will show up uninvited at your Halloween parties and can, if so compelled, clog up your ear.”
From the Archives: Calls to Abolish Greek Life of Philosopher Socrates, Forced to Drink Hemlock
“I mean for Zeus’ sake, we’ve barely just invented math, we don’t have time for philosophy!”
Op-Ed: Yes, My Zoom Photo is My Headshot. I Hate Myself as Much as You Hate Me
I know that people assume I am a pretentious asshole who is completely full of myself. All of these assumptions are valid.
Report: Bryan from Econ Doesn’t Like Halloween “As an Institution”
“You’re not a sexy cat, or a sexy maid, or a sexy bottle of Suave Men 3 in 1 Citrus Rush Shampoo, Conditioner and Body Wash. You’re just your sad little self, and that should be enough.”
New Report: It’s Still Unclear What People On Cover of Spanish Textbook Pointing At
When asked why the teens had been smiling and pointing into the distance excitedly for so long, Hernandez, Sanchez, and Gonzalez were unable to answer definitively.
Local Man Picks Random Balkan Country to Form New Personality Around
“I’ve tried to talk to him and make sure he’s doing ok, but he kept shouting about land disputes between Kosovo and Serbia,” explained a close friend, who wished to remain anonymous.
Reckless Student Sends Email To Professor After Only Five Proofreads
Her professor responded thirty seconds later, replying “sure that wold be fine -sent from my iPad.”
Circle Circle Dot Dot Cooties Vaccine Enters Testing Phase
Playground researchers have managed to develop an experimental vaccine using top notch Crayola Magic Marker technology, reducing the risk of cooties transmission by up to 30%.