For decades, Biden has been spotted working weekends at Sunglass Hut, presumably to pick up some extra cash. It is unclear whether or not he will continue working now that his loans are paid off.
9:14 P.M. Wednesday. November 25th. I’ll never forget receiving that fateful email: “Your optimal Northwestern Marriage Pact match is…” When I opened the email, I initially thought it was a joke–I mean, we only had 69.420% compatibility! And I’d never even heard of this guy. I mean, “Chad Fratman”?? Sounded totally fake. But Chad messaged me almost immediately, saying, “Hey bby girl u got snap” accompanied by a picture of a really cute thumb in a turtleneck. So, of course, I immediately
“Long ago, our ancestors bided their time by their schools’ washing machines, riding out spin cycle after spin cycle in the hopes that their perfect match would need to wash their delicates and fill a void in their life too.”
A #shirtlessGibby trend has gone viral on TikTok with tweens imitating this war cry in varying degrees of undress and sweatiness. The trend has become so popular, some Gen Z scholars have even dubbed it “the next planking.”
Mansplainers were able to educate people on a vast range of topics including “what a riot really is,” “the legal nuance behind insurrection,” and “who actually controls the stock market.”
“My face is flakier than Northwestern’s male population, and my knees and elbows are so cracked that James Franco could get trapped down there for 127 hours.”
“We got a little too excited, I slipped on some frozen geese shit, fell onto the rocks, and that was that.”
“People started calling us performative. And I said ya know what, if you’re going to call us performative, we might as well lean into it.”
Hey, Bradleigh Jenkins, remember me from first grade? Still think your hunky dad could beat mine?
The godless abominations have tongues, so they clearly consume some sort of food.