CW Announces Revamp of “Marmaduke” as Sexy Teen Drama
Upon hearing that the same Riverdale team would be handling all writing and production, head writer Timothy Prost fell to the floor and immediately burst into tears.
Category Archives: No. 315
Local Man Makes it Almost Too Clear That He is Not Wearing Pants On Zoom Call
His classmates described this confession as “jarring,” “unnecessary,” and to some, “inspiring.”
Professor Who Talks about Bridgerton in Class Has Not Gotten to the “Wildest Dreams” Sex Scene Yet
Bennett can only cringe in embarrassment knowing that while her professor loves Daphne’s character arc in the first few episodes, she will soon watch the protagonist cum in two minutes with zero foreplay.
FDA to Approve Vaccine in Fun, Kid-Friendly Flavors Such as “Tootie Fruity Immunity”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” admitted Anthony Fauci in a joint statement with FDA director Stephen Hahn. “We’re not proud to be using Juul’s playbook, but damn, if they didn’t have a move or two in there.”
Quiz: Are You Named Steve?
Steve, baby, you can’t have completely forgotten about the day we had together.
New Study Shows Over 200% of Northwestern Students Ignore the “One Book” Emails
“Such emails serve absolutely no purpose, other than reminding the majority of students how shitty they are for not reading whatever book it was that they were supposed to.”