Year 11 | Northwestern Flipside

Category Archives: Year 11

God Annoyed With Amount Of Prayers For Release Of ‘Avengers 4’ Trailer

December 4, 2018 Michael Lenart Leave a comment

In an unexpected press release, God stated that he has become “sick and tired” of the “millions of prayers asking to release the trailer for the new ‘Avengers’ movie.” Earlier this week, a series of chiseled, stone tablets from Yahweh himself were found on the altar at the Sistine Chapel. Once they were translated from Latin, they revealed the Almighty’s distaste for his new workload. “Every single day, I sit and I listen to prayers asking the same things: ‘Can

Entrepreneurial Genius Logs into Handshake During Middle of Lecture

December 3, 2018 Ari Mostow Leave a comment

Smuthers initially agreed to comment on the story, but cancelled her interview with reporters upon hearing that The Flipside is not a marketing company.

Wildside to offer fifths of vodka to help boost attendance at sporting events

December 3, 2018 M.A. Galloway Leave a comment

Forget free t-shirts and food, the Northwestern Wildside is ready to get you shmacked. Desperate to increase student attendance at sporting events, the Wildside advertised free fifths of vodka to the first 100 students who showed up to the women’s basketball game on Thursday. “What our student body lacks in school spirit, it makes up for in alcoholism,” said Wildside president Lindsey Carlson. Initially, the Wildside was worried that students would leave when they started handing out fifths of rum

NU and Ohio State Fans Bond Pregame with Indy Favorite, Meth

December 2, 2018 Flippy Leave a comment

The bitter rivalry between Northwestern and Ohio State fans sparked by the Big Ten Championship Game this Saturday came to a surprisingly peaceful conclusion at a local tailgate with the help of a Hoosier classic. When Northwestern football fan, Bill Werner, initially crashed the tailgate, it appeared relatively ordinary. “I wandered into a backyard and started eating the nearest hot dog,” said Werner. “Next thing I knew, the meth pipe was in my hand.” “The Northwestern fans started out chanting

Plans to Include SpongeBob in Avengers 4 Canned Following Deaths of the Only Two People Who Wanted It

December 2, 2018 Richard Godsel Leave a comment

A previously unreleased concept art poster shows him alongside the other heroes with the tagline, “Forget Infinity War: Thisis the most ambitious cross-over in history.”

Read more Entertainment, Featured, No. 263