Area White Man from the South Side– of Wilmette
Gilberts is just like any other Northwestern student–a young man with a dream; a dream of maybe getting a right swipe from Becca in Econ 201.
Category Archives: No. 288
From the Archives: Op-Ed: William, ye Olde Wilde Cat, Thou Hast Awakened my Heart
From the moment mine eyes met thine, William, ye olde Wilde Cat, I was eternally enthralled. From then until the end of time, I was, am, and shall be thine.
One Book One Northwestern Budget Reduced to One Dollar One Cent
Consternation and significant pushback from angry students on campus calling for a reversal was… actually nowhere to be seen.
New Drug Surfaces on Campus: “White Male Discussion Section Confidence”
“White Male Discussion Section Confidence,” better known on the street as “the devil’s advocate,” surfaced on Northwestern’s campus right around midterm season and has spread like wildfire.
Yoda Prime Suspect in ‘To Be White Okay It Is’ Sticker Controversy
“Free speech white college kids may strive for, but much larger problems there are for us green-folk. Yes, hrmmmm.”
Sad Little Library Event Draws Two Whole Undergrads
“I hate my major now and my PA group hasn’t responded to my last five messages in the old GroupMe, so I figured attending this event of my own free will was as good a cry for help as any.”