Freshman With Housing Selection Number 99999999 Ends up With Dorm Room in Qatar
“Hey, it’s still a Northwestern dorm, isn’t it? We said you have to live on campus for two years, but we never specified which campus.”
Category Archives: No. 277
Chair Show Very Popular
“Only time and weekly episodes at 9pm EST will tell Who Will Get Chair, which, as far as Flipside investigators can tell, is the premise of British Chair Show. That, and gratuitous rape scenes that fanboys insist are ‘for the realism.'”
Op-Ed: I’m Not Like Most Girls, My Mom Had a C-Section
Since I didn’t see my mom’s vaginal canal, I do see the world in a different perspective, and I think that’s why I’m so unique.
Oh God Oh Fuck: NU A Cappella Groups to Headline Dillo Day
“Jesus fucking Christ, please tell me this isn’t happening,” Jason Rothman (WCAS ’19) said as he shook his head in dismay.
Sunflower Field Full Of WWII Land Mines Kills 50 Photogenic White Girls
“Danger: Live Munitions and the Perfect Facebook Cover Ahead.”
Op-Ed: College is Not Going Like Pitch Perfect Said It Would
“My voice sounds really decent on an auto-tuned studio recording. Still, the acapella groups won’t accept me, even though at least half of them sound like you’re listening to an Instagram cover of Mariah Carey.”
A Star Is Born: Northwestern Theater Major to Play “Dead Body #2” On SVU
“As a matter of fact, I actually thought someone had just sent us professional photos of a terminally ill person at first glance. But then, one of our interns played a video Preston sent us of him sitting still for 12 hours and it seemed like the perfect fit. What can I say; the kid’s a natural!”
Rabbi Spotted Outside Passover Seder Taking Fat Hit of Bitter Herbs
According to witnesses, Kushberg called for a brief recess in the Passover seder, then grabbed a bowl of bitter herbs from the seder plate, rushed to a dimly lit area behind the temple and took a bitter herb hit of Biblical proportions.
Burger King To Be Open 25 Hours On 4/20
“After this 4/20, Burger King will become Burger Emperor.”