Op-Ed: How to Drive a Wedge Between Every Campus Couple So They Can All Be as Sad as You
I conducted a completely unbiased poll sent exclusively to other lonely singles, and—sure enough—we have a scourge of couples on campus.
Category Archives: Year 1
Obit: Local Student Found Dead After Being on Hold with Residential Services About Mold in Bobb for 17 Hours
“By the time it went to voicemail sixteen hours later, spores were already growing out of her corpse.”
Professor Fights Urge to Meddle in Student’s Love Life After Reading Private Chat Transcripts
Hornberger has had to restrain himself from placing the two students together in breakout rooms on several occasions. He also gave them knowing glances during his lecture on college hookup culture.
Mom’s Special Boy Declares Very Unique Major in Economics
After much deliberation, the freshman decided to take a risk and commit to economics, a decision his mother called “brave and very unique.”