“You’re not a sexy cat, or a sexy maid, or a sexy bottle of Suave Men 3 in 1 Citrus Rush Shampoo, Conditioner and Body Wash. You’re just your sad little self, and that should be enough.”
When asked why the teens had been smiling and pointing into the distance excitedly for so long, Hernandez, Sanchez, and Gonzalez were unable to answer definitively.
“I’ve tried to talk to him and make sure he’s doing ok, but he kept shouting about land disputes between Kosovo and Serbia,” explained a close friend, who wished to remain anonymous.
Her professor responded thirty seconds later, replying “sure that wold be fine -sent from my iPad.”
Playground researchers have managed to develop an experimental vaccine using top notch Crayola Magic Marker technology, reducing the risk of cooties transmission by up to 30%.
Before, she was just my therapist. But now that she’s, like, a real person with actual thoughts and opinions, it makes me anxious.
In the wake of Wattpad fanfictions like The Kissing Booth and After becoming blockbuster teen movie franchises, one English teacher is leading the charge to get these works of literature where they belong: on the “Classics” section of her syllabus. Keri Schroeder, an Evanston-area high school teacher, first heard of Wattpad in 2019 when some drama students in her classroom “wouldn’t shut up” about how hot the Harry Styles fanfic they were reading was. “At first I was beleaguered, bemoaned, distraught, and in a
“I can’t go out in public anymore. People scatter away from me like I’m a shark in a school of minnows, or as if I passed gas on the rush hour train.”
Every year, East Coast residents capitalize on their supposed proximity to New York City, that concrete jungle where dreams come to life, to invoke awe in their geography-challenged classmates from the Midwest.
The traditional grand finale of Wildcat Welcome, an all-expenses paid trip to Six Flags, was made impossible this year due to the Coronavirus pandemic, leaving the Class of 2024 without the formative first-year experience that many upperclassmen hold dear. But when all else seemed lost, Northwestern released some uplifting news as to how they would make it up to the Class of 2024. According to an email sent by President Morton Schapiro, the Northwestern Administration is bringing Six Flags to