Ken Bone Recalls Glory Days
āIt was a great run,ā said Bone. āIām so grateful the American people treated me so well all that time. There were some great moments.ā
Category Archives: Archives
Paul Ryan Dutifully Picks Up Trumpās Dry Cleaning
āHe seemed a little embarrassed about holding the bag.”
Area Parents Canāt Believe Son into Both Musicals and Women
āIt was as if I had told them I wanted to have an abortion or transfer to McCormickāsurprise, then a quick shared glance, then guilt, then forced smiles and a hug.ā
Op-Ed: Northwestern Needs to Eliminate the Daily
“I get a lot more of my news from uncomfortable urinal conversations when I decide to pee adjacent to another dude in an empty restroom than I do from the Daily.”
Area Vaper Having Hard Time Sourcing Locally
“Iām a college student paying over $60,000 for tuition, and $15 dollars per thing of e-juice. There should be cheaper options in the area.”
Clowns Nationwide Having Trouble Juggling Work and Play
“The only time I have to myself is on my walks through the woods near the kindergarten.ā
PA Group Found Dead in Human Knot
Brian McNulty, one of the workers who found Group 193, described the scene as āthe single most confusing thing I have ever stumbled upon.ā
That Kid in the Front of Class Really Can Eat a Dick
Sucking a dick is just one of the many skills this wunderkind has mastered.
Polynesian-Americans Disappointed that Trump Hasnāt Slandered Them Yet
āIt just seems like itās our turn. Whereās our Alicia Machado moment?ā
White Teenager Says “Praise Yeezus,” Gets a Solid Laugh
“My friends used to āPraise Yeezusā all the time in Idaho, and I just thought it was something people said.ā