Morty Hotboxes Safe Space
Sources close to Morty revealed how glad he is to have places like this on campus where he can just go chill out, smoke, and not have to worry about being attacked for who he is.
Category Archives: Archives
Busy Student has to Reschedule 4/20 for 4/25 at Earliest
“I have three midterms coming up, and I told my friend I’d get dinner with him soon. I just can’t do 4/20 until early next week at best,” Palmer said as he crammed for a reading quiz.
Door Holder Confused He Didn’t Get Laid
“You know, it’s guys like him that remind you that chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just creepy and horny.”
Prospie Disappears in Tech, Building Will Not Erupt This Year
As of yet there is no plausible explanation for why the high school student has gone missing.
Arthur Butz Plays Two Truths, One Historical Lie with AEPi
[Butz] proceeded to play a game of Two Truths, One Lie that turned into a dogmatic rebuttal to all common knowledge about the Holocaust, to the increasing discomfort of the Fraternity members.
“I Can’t Turn It Off!” Screams Morty, Hurtling Past Onlookers in a Golf Cart
“Once he gets an idea in his head you better make sure you hide the high-energy combustibles or he’ll get in there, believe you me.”
White House to Hunt Journalists Instead of Eggs This Easter
But Trump has held firm during this criticism, tweeting out that “shooting journalists is a great activity for our nation’s kids; how else are they going to learn how to get rid of fake news.”
Op-Ed: Lifting Makes You a Better Person
If you’re not coughing up protein powder after every meal you probably have some moral failings. It’s just the truth.
Gramatik Are Perform at Dillo
Mayfest tell reporter Flipside that Slovenian EDM boy Gramatik, also known Denis Jašarević, are perform at Dillo Day 2017 in Lakefill.
Op Ed: I Bought a Rice Cooker on “Free and For Sale”
When “Mary” eventually responded, I almost threw my computer out the window for the second time.