Northwestern obliged with a long-standing Big Ten policy and provided the Cornhuskers with eight metric tons of corn to satisfy the teamâs so-called âcraze for the graze.â
In an interview with ABC News today, Justice Brett Kavanaugh explained that the âPerjuryâ mentioned in his high school yearbook is a drinking game and not a felony.
“Cosigners allayed concerns of molesters worldwide and sent the message that they would under no circumstances be held accountable for their actions.”
The presence of Slave Leia led to more interest in their organization than ever before, with over 400 signups to their listserv and 75 phone numbers given directly to “Leia.”
âI knew I should have put on my Willie the Wildcat apron before dishing out such a hearty bowl of chili.â
Students interviewed overwhelmingly agreed that that using the hash tag âMeetMeAtNorrisâ allows them to maximize their illegal activity during ten minute passing periods.
The whale was reportedly seen going up to students, taking pictures with them, then asking, âyou got some booze I can bum off you,â in the deepest voice he could muster.
Cornelius will have an uphill battle ahead of himâthat is, in addition to losing his virginity, he also has to talk to a female for the first time.
Local sources have reported that area freshman Barry Danovar reportedly said âLol, more like Dildo Day, am I rightâ at a local party in an attempt to pick up chicks last night.
“I didnât know what any of those words meant, but I figured Iâd start with finding out who this Pusher Tee is.â