Entrepreneurial Genius Logs into Handshake During Middle of Lecture
Smuthers initially agreed to comment on the story, but cancelled her interview with reporters upon hearing that The Flipside is not a marketing company.
Category Archives: Archives
Wildside to offer fifths of vodka to help boost attendance at sporting events
Forget free t-shirts and food, the Northwestern Wildside is ready to get you shmacked. Desperate to increase student attendance at sporting events, the Wildside advertised free fifths of vodka to the first 100 students who showed up to the women’s basketball game on Thursday. “What our student body lacks in school spirit, it makes up for in alcoholism,” said Wildside president Lindsey Carlson. Initially, the Wildside was worried that students would leave when they started handing out fifths of rum
NU and Ohio State Fans Bond Pregame with Indy Favorite, Meth
The bitter rivalry between Northwestern and Ohio State fans sparked by the Big Ten Championship Game this Saturday came to a surprisingly peaceful conclusion at a local tailgate with the help of a Hoosier classic. When Northwestern football fan, Bill Werner, initially crashed the tailgate, it appeared relatively ordinary. “I wandered into a backyard and started eating the nearest hot dog,” said Werner. “Next thing I knew, the meth pipe was in my hand.” “The Northwestern fans started out chanting
Plans to Include SpongeBob in Avengers 4 Canned Following Deaths of the Only Two People Who Wanted It
A previously unreleased concept art poster shows him alongside the other heroes with the tagline, “Forget Infinity War: Thisis the most ambitious cross-over in history.”
Detective Pikachu Movie Canceled After Pikachu’s Interrogation Tactics Found to Violate Geneva Conventions
“Mr. Pikachu is quite open about using his electrical powers on even innocent Squirtles. He’s a maniac.”
Count von Count Tabbed to Handle Election Recount Process
Sadly, Mr. Von Count was not able to meet with election board officials before the races were officially called.
Hillary 4: Apocalypse Unleashed Slated For Fall 2020 Release
The series has been around for so long that critics aren’t sure what new material Hillary 4: Apocalypse Unleashed can offer.
Study: One Third of Friend Groups Held Together by Mutual Fear of Meeting New People
Vestie and the rest of the faculty are currently working on a whole-brain engineered solution to the fact that a large portion of Northwestern students are not capable of healthy social interaction.
Due to Budget Cuts, Dog Therapy Has Been Replaced By A Ferret Named Keith
“We know this season is hard for everyone,” a Monday email from Northwestern Libraries said, “but we are certain that what Keith lacks in size, he makes up for in heart.”
Freshman Grabs Ambitious Amount of Condoms
“I’m gonna be burnin’ rubber like the Indy 500. This should last me through the end of the quarter.”