Green Book Writers: âCan We Say It Now? Please?â
“Iâm pretty sure this is open and shut. If you need me, Iâll be singing along to my homie Jay-Z.â
Category Archives: Archives
Fatal Accident After Professor Assigns âHeadshotâ to ROTC Instead of RTVF Student
“I also told him to âshoot quicklyâ because the camera was low on battery, but I guess he misinterpreted that part, too.â
Study: Rush of Dopamine Frat Boys Get From Wearing Salmon Comparable to Orgasm
“Whenever I put them on I can feel the increase in testosterone and dopamine immediately. Yesterday I wore them and I chucked my Sperryâs at the TV.â
Professor Takes 15 Minutes To Play A Movie Clip In Lecture After Nobody Volunteers As The “Computer Person”
In a far from unprecedented move, Professor Irene Teck spent the first 15 minutes of her 50 minute lecture struggling to play a movie clip after no student was willing to offer their assistance as the âcomputer person.â
Student Makes Slightly Too Self-Deprecating Joke, No One Laughs
âI donât know whether it was the timing, or the wording, or the fact that Ericâs grandmother just died, but for some reason, me ironically mentioning my desire to ascend from this mortal plane wasnât well-received,â said the student at the heart of this unprecedented development, who wishes to remain nameless.
Report: Your Grandma More Likely to Donate to a Nigerian Prince Than Your Dance Marathon Campaign
“Iâm pretty sure heâs always gotten the majority of the birthday money. Iâve made my peace with it.â
Arthur Butz Challenges Kanazawa to Steel Cage Match
âThis fifty-six-year-old spring chicken thinks he can walk in and take my title of academic with shittiest opinions on campus?â
Gambling Club Runs out of Funding, But They Donât Have a Problem, Damnit
âLook, itâs just a bit of bad luck, but when the water levelâs low, you know the tidal wave is coming soon. We just need like $500 spotted and this club will pay out, guaranteed,â reported club president and failing statistics major, Bobby Fletcher.
Photo Captioned âIf You Know, You Know,â Actually Ploy to Pretend Something Happened at Party
After reviewing the footage, Porter discovered that someone brought an apple to the party.
Film Student Disappointed by Mise-en-scĂšne in Porn
âItâs become some cheap extraction of real images made into a product of subjective manipulation with reality! Whoâs gonna fap to that?â remarked the first-year, who admits to having no issues with using the school wi-fi