Dad Encourages Black Mold Growth in House to Create Dorm Experience for Quarantined Freshman Scheduled to Live in Bobb
âEvery day I hose down the walls. Then I turn on the heat on low, so we can marinate in the humidity.â
Category Archives: Archives
Local Sophomore Sexiles Self Just for the Nostalgia
Weinberg Sophomore Sarah Tennant is not on campus this quarter, but she has found one way to bring a little bit of the college experience home: by forcing herself out of her room while her âroommateâ has someone over. âI realized that online classes and virtual hangouts with friends werenât enough,â she said. âWhat I was really missing was awkwardly sitting in the dorm lounge trying not to think about my roommate and Kyle from Econ and what theyâre doing
Purell Fandom “Displeased” With Culture Going Mainstream
In recent months, the FDA has released several warnings about certain hand sanitizer companies producing faulty content. This downgrade in average quality of hand sanitizer has concerned epidemiologists and doctors alike, but most perturbed are longtime self-proclaimed members of the hand sanitizer fandom. âItâs just disappointing,â said Sandy Teiser, 33. âEven my son, who would never wash his hands when toldâlet alone use soapânow carries five bottles of half-rate hand sanitizer everywhere he goes. Thereâs no way to distinguish between
This Day In History: That Time When Your 3rd Grade Teacher Let Josh P. Recalibrate the SMARTBoard Pen
âYou know, it was completely unexpected,â said Parks, now 19. âWhen she called on me to recalibrate, I originally thought she meant the other Josh, Josh M. Never in a million years would I expect to be chosen for such a prestigious responsibility.â
Archaeology Club Hits Rock Bottom
âWe knew heâd dig himself into a hole sooner or later.”
Op-Ed: I Canât be the Impostor, I was Filling Out my Daily Symptoms on the Northwestern Symptom Tracker App
Taking advantage of the popularity of Among Us, Northwestern has decided to create a similar game to encourage students to complete tasks that they usually avoid, such as signing up for the NCA career fair.
Local Man Poses as Cardboard Cutout for Three Months to Infiltrate World Series
âThe trick is to sit real still and not breathe too much,â describes Bregman, who claims he wanted to get the authentic ballpark experience without the hassle of paying for tickets or obeying pesky federal guidelines. âI got used to not breathing when I pretended to be dead so my kids could claim life insurance,” he said.
Self-Conscious Freshman Isn’t Prepared to Learn That He is the Shortest in PA Group
Bentley’s âinclusiveâ friends will not be so accepting when they see more than just his Pink Floyd t-shirt and mandala tapestry.
Elderly Trump Supporters Find New Love on Boomr
âI just really needed him to find someone fast so we could talk about baseball again, and I needed to weed out any liberal grandmas or âsnowflakesâ,â
Planned Parenthood Begins Handing Out Copies of League of Legends in Lieu of Condoms
League of Legends functions differently than many contraceptives such as condoms or Plan B. Rather than stop pregnancy, she says, it simply eliminates any chance of sexual (or human) contact at all.