The whale was reportedly seen going up to students, taking pictures with them, then asking, “you got some booze I can bum off you,” in the deepest voice he could muster.
Mayfest released a statement this week regarding the addition: “We know that not everyone wants to listen to random bands and rappers that they sort of vaguely know, so, we decided to bring in those podcasters that you’ve been meaning to listen to but just haven’t had the time lately.”
The ranking, which will be displayed right below the “5th Best Dining” award on Northwestern’s Wall of Mediocre Achievements, came as a great surprise to the campus community.
“DRAM is bopping he’s so jazzy and smooth I love this but also when do I get redrunk.”
Mimsy, a fucking moron, agrees that weed lets people connect and try to get along.
10:07 – red bull walking around? Giving out energy. Tastes like hand santitizer fucked an old eaten melon.
Editor’s note: This article was written by an actual drunk student, and, as such, has been left completely unedited. itss been too long since we’ve published a drink article, (auto-correct) dillo day for reals, typing on my phone. More later. Aaaand some chick is throwing up in the byshes pre 11am. Classsss. Some lady just asked me of I could see her flask. I couldn’t. We’re friends now. I forgot to tell you Chet haze grabbed my friends butt true story bro. Gah
This article was written by an actual drunk man and left unedited for effect. There are days in our lives when greatness is thrust upon us.  There are also days wehere we drink a shit ton of alcohol and have fun  Guess which one dillo day is?  Hint I uncle jose cuerva making a visit.  So today is chill and all with all the bands.  The new pornographers were surprisingly clothed.  I mean can you pronographize (the verb of pornography)
By An Actual Drunk Man* So its been a great dfay. It’s been fucking difficult trying to login to write this ariticel. Â I mena so what if my password was wrong the first threew times shouldnty i still be able to use my free speech. Its the first ammendment. Â I shall not be silenced by the password code. Â What was i writing abouyt? Â of yeah dillo day. Â Dydude we dont evewn have any armadillos here . Â ity should have