In Fit Of Extreme Baby Fever, Sophomore Girl Rips Out IUD In Middle Of Dorm Bathroom
Sadly, there were no willing men and, more importantly, no willing sperm.
Author Archives: Zoe Kulick
Heartwarming: Northwestern Basketball Rekindles Relationships Between Hundreds of Estranged Fathers and Daughters
âIn high school, I was lucky if my dad could remember my best friendâs name or what grade I was in. Now, we talk for hours on the phone about our favorite players on the team and he knows absolutely everything about them. Itâs crazy!âÂ
Bribery, Groveling, and 3 Other Ways to Get Off the Waitlist for That Class You Need to Graduate
The odds that your professor has done something problematic that has ended up online are incredibly high. All you need to do is find the evidence.Â
NU Football Coach Forces Players to Attend Basketball Game to âSee What Being Cheered for Looks Likeâ
According to Northwesternâs football coach, this torture was deliberate. During the off-season, he has turned to emotional tactics to try and get the Northwestern football team out of their slump.
Op-Ed: Sometimes I Think About Chernobyl And I Just Freak Out
But seriously, even just writing about it, I am completely freaking out right now.
Unintelligible Numbers In Water Bottle Filler Screen Actually Ancient Hieroglyphics Leading to the Holy Grail
âWho cares about the environment?!â he shouted from his hospital bed. âIâm trying to save all of humanity!â
Ask Flippy: Can You Quickly Check If I Bled Through My Pants But Like Donât Make It Obvious?
If everyone sees you staring at my butt, theyâll know Iâm on my period and that would obviously be the worst possible thing to happen to me or anyone in the history of time for reasons Iâm unaware of, but Iâd for sure have to drop out of school, so can you please just do this for me?
End of Spring Quarter Ranked Number 1 Time Period for Publicly Calling Everyone “Hags” and Receiving No Backlash or Angry Looks
Ah spring, the perfect time for soaking up amazing weather, picnicking by the beach, and publicly insulting large groups of people with sexistly-charged insults and not receiving any backlash.
Uh-Oh! Elijah Just Sat on Your Weird Kidâs Imaginary Friend
The seat that is always left open for his imaginary friend was just usurped by a mere passer-by whoâs obsessed with watching baby boys get their foreskin cut off. What a creep!
Op-ed: Regular Social Media Doesnât Fuel My Superiority Complex Anymore, So You Can Now Only Find Me on Goodreads and Letterboxd
Itâs important to me that when people stalk me on the internet they think âWow, I bet she really understands the importance of symbolism,â and âDo you think she actually followed what was going on in âInception,â because it kind of seems like it?â