Innovation: Student Starts Ripping 20 GoGo Squeezes a Day to Curb Vaping Addiction
He slurped up a long, skinny semi-gelatinous tube of unsweetened, organic applesauce and felt a head rush like nothing he had ever experienced before.
Author Archives: Zoe Kulick
Funnel Cake, Projectile Vomit, Mysteriously Damp Stuffed Animal and Other Carnival-Themed Outfit Ideas for Dillo 53
We’ve got some great ideas for sexy and hot festival outfits that are perfectly on theme.
Never Fucking Leaving: Trudeau Actually Planning to “Put on a Little Makeup” and Re-run for Prime Minister Disguised as Black Politician
Immediately following Trudeau’s resignation as Canada’s Prime Minister, he was spotted stalking up on shades of foundation and concealer that a panicked Sephora representative said “totally did not match his skin tone.”
Trump Creates New “BOOM Department” For Bombing His Enemies, Appoints AJ & Big Justice As Secretaries
While some may have missed the announcement in between Trump’s creation of an “Efficiency Commission” and appointment of a sex criminal to lead the government’s law enforcement agency, the president-elect notably created a “BOOM Department” for bombing his enemies and named AJ & Big Justice as its foremen. Trump originally met AJ & Big Justice while he was working the McDonald’s drive thru. The father-son pair ordered everything on the menu for one of their viral videos and proceeded to
Local Emo Indie Boy Stares Straight at the Eclipse: “I’d Rather be Blind than Continue to Watch the Modern Horrors of our Fucked-up World”
“I mean hurricanes in New Orleans, fires in California — those things are expected,” he explained, “but an earthquake in New York?! That’s where I draw the line. My parents are still shaken up about it, especially because they felt it more than others in their building. Because they’re higher up. Well, because they’re on the top floor. I mean, because they’re in the penthouse.”
From The Man Watching You Through Your Kindle: “Ooooooh Yes Roll Over To Your Side”
Kindles have taken the world by storm. Ever since people realized that you can read embarrassing, smutty novels, or memoirs by cancelled celebrities without revealing the cover to strangers, they have been flying off the shelves. But there is a dark side to this beautiful technological innovation that can store up to 6,000 books while being light as a croissant, the man who watches you through your kindle at night and loves when you roll over on your side. One
Alabama Outlaws Waking Up From A Pregnancy Nightmare: “Ending a Dream Baby’s Life is Punishable by Death”
“The audacity to wake up from a dream in the middle of a baby’s development, well, that is just downright cruel!”
First There was Clean Girl, Then Mob Wife, Now Presenting Carpool Mom that Not-So-Secretly Smokes Weed
She always keeps snacks in the center console of her car, never lets the kids have any, and must restock twice a day.
Ask Flippy: If You’re Gonna Use my Famous 400-Term Quizlet to get an A in Psych 110 Without Asking, Could You At Least Leave a 5-Star Review?
I make around 10 Quizlets for every class and according to the company, I am a “top creator,” because my sets get upwards of 12 studiers every day. They pay me in motivational quotes and cases of Celsius.
Local Wellness Guru Uses Morning Sun Salutations as Dedicated Time to Plot Revenge
“Breathe in for 4… hold for 7… and as you’re holding, picture your greatest enemy”