Even the professor seemed impressed when he briefly stopped his teaching halfway through class. “I am so proud of…Cole?… for finally trimming his nails,” said Professor Gill, “I know that this journey has been a long one – even longer than his nail was.”
“Nothing better represents the Dillo Day spirit than the Easter Island head that Squidward lives in.”
The app only requires you to answer one question: did you have Diamond or Pearl?
Big time investment banker Mr. Maxwell Harrington said, “Fortunately, I can afford to purchase electric lights for my large, impressive house. The poor folk of this town are just going to have to make more money so they can ditch those obsolete candles.”
A group of researchers here at Northwestern University has made a huge, and potentially frightening, discovery. Their report claims that there are thousands of invisible spiders crawling all over everyone at all times, and the only way to see them is to take the drug DMT. Foreseeing what they described as “ethical issues” with making civilian subjects take the drug, the researchers elected to perform the test on themselves. The scientists split into two groups, one being the control group
A Northwestern student has been admitted to Evanston hospital after drinking a mixture of blue Powerade and Sprite in Sargent dining hall. Weinberg student Kyle Denton was eating lunch with his friends when they pressured him into drinking a cup of Blue Lightning, which is the street name for the dangerous concoction. Witness reports claim that he took a sip of the mixture (two-thirds Powerade and one-third Sprite) and almost immediately collapsed on the floor. Dining hall workers called an
Floridian and Californian students are warned to be wary of who they complain around, lest a Midwestern student overhears and feels the need to correct their ignorance.
A previously unreleased concept art poster shows him alongside the other heroes with the tagline, “Forget Infinity War: Thisis the most ambitious cross-over in history.”
“He claims the buzzing soothes him, but the constant droning has barred me from sleep since this quarter started.”
A new study published in the Daily Northwestern has revealed that you are neither academically nor socially good enough to go here.