Author Archives: Nick Zessis
Cold War Reenactment Goes Nowhere
CAESAR Less User Friendly than MS-DOS
White House to Be Painted Half Black
New NU President Credits Victory to Owning a lot of Purple
Blagojevich’s Barber Resigns
Area Man Hit In The Eye By Incoming Text Message
Area Man Hit In The Eye By Incoming Text Message
Grover Cleveland Assassination Joke Declared “Too Soon,” Also Factually Incorrect
Grover Cleveland Assassination Joke Declared “Too Soon,” Also Factually Incorrect
Obama Considers ‘85 Bears Defense To Head Homeland Security
Obama Considers ‘85 Bears Defense To Head Homeland Security
Half of Astronaut’s Salary Goes to Beer for the Trip Up
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—Atlantis’ astronauts grabbed hold of the Hubble Space Telescope at the end of last week, quickly setting their sights on the unprecedented spacewalking repairs they will attempt over the next couple of days. “It’s going to be tough,” explained head astronaut, Jim Bernstein. “My hands are shaking just thinking about it. One wrong move and we could float off into space.” The Atlantis astronauts tried to keep cool on the way up as a way to cope with