Bear from The Revenant Beats Leo for Oscar
In an unprecedented turn of events, the Oscars have handed the Best Actor award to a non-human, who in fact was not even originally nominated for the award.
Author Archives: Meghan Gresk
Area Student Disturbed by Lack of Stress in Life
“There’s just so many hours in the day. I always have time to complete my homework five days in advance, attend four meetings a day, and sing my baby sister to sleep on the phone.”
Plex Dining Halls to Redecorate Walls with Tildes, Umlauts
The RHA stressed that the beloved periods, often mistaken for polka dots, will still have a meaningful presence.
Study: Everyone Best Friends with Their Roommates Except You
A recent study released by the Northwestern University Psychology Department shows conclusively for the first time that everyone but you is friends with their roommate.
NU Updates Graduation Criteria, C’s No Longer Get Degrees
The Northwestern Graduation Office recently passed a new bylaw stating that students who receive C’s will no longer receive a Northwestern diploma.
Freshman Already Claiming Winter Quarter Will Go Better
After receiving a B+ on her first assignment, Summers believes all she needs is a fresh start. “I just had to accept that this was a bump in the road,” she told her best friend Heather Heathers.
Mayfest: Disappointments to Headline Dillo
“We’re really excited to play for an audience who most likely hasn’t heard our chart-bottoming hit Swipe Right for Me. And if we get really drunk we might play some shitty songs like Smells Like Teen Spirit or All-Star.”