Representative Brett Guthrie said, “Look, a man makes a dollar and a woman makes sixty cents. That’s following the three-fifths compromise to a T. I don’t see what the big deal is.”
That line about me staying by her side when she got sick? That was just a little white lie. I was sitting at my desk telling Luke and Penny about Lily and Barney not having sex when they called to tell me she kicked the bucket.
Quad-Delt junior faces expulsion from her beloved sisterhood when she can’t meet the requirement of wearing (minimum) four articles of clothing marked with her letters per day.
Travolta pointed out academic buildings such as “Kierkegaard,” “Luddite,” “Annabel,” and, of course, “Trick Inspector.” The hopeful teenagers walked under “The Ache,” observed the beautifully painted “Rob,” and Instagrammed pictures of Chicago from the grassy “Lank Flank.”
Attempting to Write Sports Articles: Look, we aren’t athletes. Hell, most of us haven’t even gone to a game this year. But we try our hardest. We like to think that we’re as good at caring about sports as the athletes are at playing them.
“We’re hoping by next year students will be able to exchange their Mortcoins for Norbucks Bucks and Frontero Dineros.”
I was heartbroken when we were robbed from a chance at a bowl game (I thought being such a big contender in the Big 10 would at least get us SOMETHING) but at least we won the Land of Lincoln trophy!
Aiken pounded the competition week after week with top-notch speeches, rallies, and appearances. His opponent was less consistent, having a small number of impressive performances but many that were met with mediocre reviews.
ETHS student Patrick Thornby argues, “No, this isn’t a good idea for such a first-class model community,” while retired musician Paul Hamilton says, “Hell yeah! Let’s do it!”