After Tying His Kill Count, Boeing Now Set On Beating OJ Simpson in Rushing Yards
Boeing has (allegedly) already tied Juice’s murder record and has now turned its attention to beating his rushing yards.
Author Archives: John Jameson
Ask Flippy: Wait, I get the Third One, but how do Lesbians Rock and Paper Each Other?
I feel like I’m lost here. I’ve got a few guesses, like papering might be when two girls lie flat, like paper. And maybe rocking involves a rocking chair? That might explain why my aunt and her roommate like that piece of furniture so much.
Shots Fired From 70 Arts Circle Dr. Tragically Miss Local Improv Troupe
After the smoke cleared and adrenaline levels returned to normal, the student body was met with tragic news: the shots had missed the local improv troupes.
Disaster! Roommate Who Calls Shoes “foot prisons” Begins Caucasian Loc Journey
Maybe the fumes from his annual Burning Man trips gave him brain damage
5 Minute Crafts Debuts Tutorial On How To Mold Soft Infant Heads Into Nice Centerpiece Vase
The social media page “5 Minute Crafts” has been known to post some kooky content in the past ranging from weird to downright insane. It’s almost like the channel has lost its way and has sacrificed pragmatism for clickbait. Their latest creation, though, is no mere fluff piece. 5 Minute Crafts finally reconnected with their roots and debuted a tutorial we can all appreciate: “How to Mold an Infant’s Soft Skull Into a Nice Centerpiece Vase.” Normally, children are loud,
Spotify Wrapped Ruffles Feathers By Featuring Independent Taiwan as Location
This past November, as we’ve seen so many times before, Spotify Wrapped took the world by storm with its sleek presentation style and the implementation of geographical identifications according to your listening habits. Some users, however, said they received an odd and politically contentious message that read, “This year, your listening took you places, and one place listened just like you: the independent nation of Taiwan.” Some of our readers may know that the political status of Taiwan is a
He Had to Do WHAT to WHO? John Wilkes Booth’s WILD Fantasy Football Punishment
Spend 24 hours in a Waffle House, get a tattoo of your friend’s choosing, or perform at an open mic. These are some of the most popular fantasy football punishments for the poor saps who finish last in their league, but once upon a time a man made the news for his WILD punishment. And you’ll never guess what he did or who he did it to. John Wilkes Booth was just a regular joe competing in his local fantasy
Is Boofing Together The New Brunch Date? Our Sources Say No!
With cuffing season upon us, it’s more important than ever to have some good date ideas on hand. But finding something creative and fun is hard. Coffee dates are nice, but do you really want to risk shitting your pants from all the caffeine? That’s what we thought. You could do brunch dates, but then again you’re not a millennial with a failing relationship (we assume, no judgment though). That’s why The Flipside sent out a little poll to
Op-Ed: The Healy-Swift Relationship was the Most Outraged I’ve Seen White Women since Schools were Integrated
Look, I am no stranger to public outrage. I mourned with America over the fall of Blockbuster, I rioted when the McRib was stripped from the McDonald’s menu, and the establishment felt my wrath when Aaron Rodgers tore his Achilles tendon. But oh my god, was I taken aback by one group’s vitriol this past year. This past May, Taylor Swift was rumored to be dating problematic singer Matty Healy, and to be honest I have not seen white women that mad
“I’m Grateful All The Time, I’m Sexy and I’m Kind, I’m Pretty When I Cry” And Other Things Kevin McCarthy Wrote In His Diary While Crying
McCarthy confessed that he had been taking solace in his diary and had been writing the lyrics “I’m grateful all the time/ I’m sexy, and I’m kind/ I’m pretty when I cry.”