Op-Ed: I put on Beats headphones to walk across campus and now I’m trapped in a commercial where the sidewalks rotate in tempo with my music
The steps of Harris Hall sliced apart like dominoes and did the wave.
Author Archives: Henry Roach
Angry AO3 Fanfiction About OC “Fuke Ligora” Describes Campus Shockingly Similar to Northwestern
“In Chapter 12, after deciding to hoard even more BINAX-Now’s by blocking incoming shipments of at-home tests, Fuke Ligora cackles with glee about his evil plan in the office of his supervisor Shorty Mapiro.”
In True Show Of Solidarity With Students, Dearborn Observatory Also About To Collapse
“In unprecedented times like this, it’s nice to know that the observatory feels us.”
“They Cut Me Out, And Now It’s Time To Pay,” Cackles A Third Johnson In New Blackmail Video
“Because of my unbeatable toe fungus, I was the one voted out of the company.”
After Success Of Super Bowl Poetry Reading, NFL Announces Super Bowl Interpretive Dance, Expressionist Painting, College Improv Lineup For 2021
“People started calling us performative. And I said ya know what, if you’re going to call us performative, we might as well lean into it.”
BREAKING: Chips Ahoy! Employees Test Negative for COVID-19, Positive for Scurvy
The highly complex testing process included having blood drawn, mopping the deck and sparring with a member of a feuding ship.