What They Donāt Tell You About Crack: āHoly Shit This Stuff Is Fucking Great!ā
Itās so great, I actually can’t imagine what my life would be like without my beloved crack, I really canāt!
Author Archives: Diego Guerrero
Call Me Crazy, But that UFO Came Down in the Field by my House in 2012 and When the Little Aliens Came Out They Told Me to Shoot John Lennonās Abused Son Julian Lennon
Look, man, I admit maybe I shouldnāt have drunk that whole bowl of ayahuasca brew that uncontacted tribe in Paraguay sent me, but I swear to you Iām not messing around here. Call me crazy if you want, but that UFO came down in the field by my house in 2012 and when the little aliens came out they told me to shoot John Lennonās abused son, Julian Lennon.
Op-Ed: Norovirus Outbreak In Elder Hall Comes To An End As I, Diego Guerrero, Become The Last Surviving Elderite
It continued until the outbreak ended and I returned to my dorm to realize that I, Diego Guerrero, have become the last surviving Elderite.
I Came From The Streets: A Study Of Asphalt Fetishes
All across the world, itās not that unusual for some people to have strange fetishes. Feet, hybristophilia, lactophilia, even coprophilia. Of course, whatever gets your socks off and gets you turned on really isnāt anybody elseās business. However, recently a phenomenon has been sweeping cities across America: asphalt fetishes. āI Came From The Streetsā — a breakdown of tarphelia. Signs of the modern fetish first began appearing in America in the 1930s when many roads began to be paved as
Op-Ed: To Smithereens Is The Best Way To Be Blown
Call it what you want, but thereās nothing like being blown to smithereens to calm me down after a stressful week.
Iām On The Deanās List, Little Does He Know Heās On Mine Too
Iām going to get that son of a bitch.
Breaking: Theatre Kid Pretty Sure “Defying Gravity” is what an Orgasm Feels Likeļæ¼
āIād only read about it in that book about my changing body my parents gave me when I was 13,ā he told Flipside. Although he admits to doing some āonline studyingā about the subject before he came to Northwestern, he insists that was just so he could be better prepared in case the school put on a production ofĀ Cabaret.Ā
Fall Quarter In Review: I Could Die On This Campus And Nothing Would Change
What a quarter this has been. From late nights ripping my hair out behind a bookshelf in Core, to late nights ripping my hair out in the corner of the quiet section in Mudd, I truly feel like Iāve reached the limit of what Iām going to accomplish at Northwestern. This has all brought me to one conclusion: I could die and nothing on this campus would change. If I got rolled over by a steam roller, Iād just be
That Gelatinous Cranberry Sauce Is Ribbed For HIS Pleasure
Itās not just that he doesnāt care, itās that he canāt care. How can he be thinking about whatever you two are this Thanksgiving when we all know that come turkey time, thereās only one thing on a guys mind ā getting to feel every rib, bump, lump, jiggle and wiggle of that mysteriously gelatinous cranberry sauce with sensory spots he didnāt even know existed.
From The Archives: How To Get Betty-Sue To Give You A Handy-Dandy Down By Loverās Lane, 1951
Now, Iām sure you have a lot of questions that ma and pa didnāt quite answer.