NU Golfers Won’t Stop Talking about the Masters to Empty Classroom
Author Archives: Christian Hernandez
Even Meteors Hate Communism
[Nostalgia Issue] Where Are They Now: The Rugrats
We all remember the Rugrats, those adventurous wild babes from the 90s. We knew them so well back then, but what have they done since then? The Flipside caught up with them to find out. Tommy: Tommy continues to be the leader he was back in his youth, and he is now the starting running back and a captain on Cal’s football team. He gets girls like none other and rages harder than anyone. He’s projected as a mid-third round
Athletes Find New Performance-Enhancing Drugs From Unlikely Sources
AUBURN, AL — College and professional athletes alike are facing criticism for using deer antler spray to enhance their performance. Football players at big-time SEC schools in particular have allegedly bought and used deer antler spray despite it being considered a performance-enhancing drug. True, it sounds a bit crazy, but down south football is everything! A special Flipside investigation has unearthed the next groundbreaking PEDs that athletes will abuse. 1. Injecting Elephant Tranquilizer Fluid The tranquilizer fluid will be taken
TKOE Loses Liquor License, 1/3 of NU Students to Transfer
On January 30th, 2012, The Keg of Evanston closed following the revocation of its liquor license due to multiple violations of underage drinking. Northwestern University students came together in mourning the end of those crazy, drunken nights at the Keg. Students were bound to be upset about the ruling, but no one anticipated the mass exodus from the university. Nearly one third of the student body has applied to transfer elsewhere rather than remain in a Keg-less Evanston. The top
[Future Issue: 2161] “Sup, Brah” Hits Theatres
EVANSTON – After much anticipation, a new historical documentary entitled “Sup, Brah” directed by esteemed archeologist Dr. Thelonious Unk finally hit theaters last night to the delight of viewers worldwide. The documentary premiered at Cinemark Century Theaters. This was the first movie to be played there since the great nuclear conflict of 2086. An estimated 1.5 million people attended the premiere to further learn about the once-great civilization of the “Bros”. The film began with footage from a historical investigation
Junkies Discover the Rock “Ain’t No Crack Rock”
EVANSTON – Evanston junkies were outraged yesterday when they found out Northwestern University’s beloved Rock is, in fact, just a rock. A recent increase of recreational crack-cocaine users on the Northwestern University campus has stirred up some talk on campus. However with all the work, the cold settling in, and the football team unable to stop any team’s offence, their presence isn’t quite at the top of anyone’s worries list. It turns out the drug users have been flocking to