Ask Flippy: Why did AJ and Big Justice Give Five Big Booms to that Car?
Backstabber. Et tu, AJ and Big Justice?
Author Archives: Cassandra Brook
Op-Ed: I think we should bring back the guillotine
Wood frame, metal blade, disgruntled French hangman. Back in the days of the French Revolution, these were the three things you needed to kill someone, all compiled into one machine: the guillotine. But the extinction of the guillotine isn’t just about the advancement of weaponry; it is clearly indicative of a more serious problem in society: people these days don’t support blue-collar jobs, and so we need to bring back the guillotine. In the time of the guillotine, killing someone
The Things I’d Do to Get a Tunnel Under This School
While the snow, accelerated by the wind, stabbed me over and over again in the eyes this week, I realized one thing: Northwestern needs a tunnel.
Op-Ed: Running over someone with a car is okay if you cross your toes while pushing the gas pedal
I don’t condone violence. I don’t condone breaking traffic rules. But I do condone following honor codes typically used by children.
I think I’m going to eat a squirrel. They’re looking sumptuous.
It flashes before my eyes. A streak of gray, a small chittering sound, and a set of wide eyes entice me. My mouth waters, soaks in anticipation. I must eat. The hunger consumes me, ravages my body. I am as ravenous as a skeleton waiting for its next indigestible meal. I lock eyes with the creature, my prey. It chomps on its acorn, daring me to bite. Oh squirrel, I must devour you! The sumptuous squirrels on this campus are
Kamala Harris Launches New Podcast: “Call Her Mamala”
In response, Trump has also launched his own podcast: “Call Me God.”
J.D. Vance on validity of 2020 election: “Bro, you’re not valid”
We decided to hire two of the country’s best frat bros, Chad Trent and Trevor Brent, as debate advisors for J.D