Student Registers Your Mom as Dillo Day Guest
This morning Mayfest confirmed early reports that Amon Littleton, WCAS ’18, has registered your mother as his guest for Dillo Day on May 30th.
Author Archives: Brian Capella
Smart Dillo Only Gets 28 on ACT
According to initial estimates, this places Smart Dillo into the 58th percentile among armadillos nationwide.
Student Decides to Sell Wristband A$AP
The student initially thought that Mayfest was using a code to announce the artist, and through conjecture had determined the artist to be featured was most likely to be Fergie or Lorde in a Trap.
Professor Relieved Student Corrected Error on Slide
The student said he was proud of how he holds professors accountable for their mistakes.
Gold: A Review of the Kanye West Tribute
Composed, written, and choreographed by over 100 NU students, the musical focuses on the life of Kanye West and the hardships he has faced on his road from riches to bitches.
Game of Thrones Season 5 Conclusion Revealed
SPOILER ALERT: This article will contain spoilers for both book readers and television-series-watchers alike.
Patriots to Use Crossbows in Super Bowl XLIX
Dubbed “crossbow-gate,” the Patriots’ latest tactic is projected to push the odds to the Patriots’ favor. Studies show that football teams that use crossbows win 97% of the time against teams that do not use crossbows.
Football Team Disappointed in Lack of Post-Game Chick-Fil-A
Senior captain Brandon Vitabile commented on the unfortunate situation. “I can’t believe it. To come all this way only to find out it was all for nothing.”
Ford Design Center out of Metal as Students Create Chainz
All across campus, students can be seen wearing chainz around their necks, while pointing at females and shouting things along the lines of “she got a big booty so I call her big booty” and “bad bitch contest you in first place.”
STUDY: Walking with Chipotle Bag More Dangerous Than Walking With a Million Dollars
It should be noted that when the Chipotle bags contained a burrito with guacamole on it, the rate of assault went up %1.80 as compared with the burritos without guacamole.