Apple Buys Single Pair of Beats Headphones for $3.2 Billion
Author Archives: Andrew Schneider
REPORT: $2 Hotdogs More Likely to Cause Cancer than Cure It
The study, authored by Dr. Kevin Fisher, stunned the medical community by hypothesizing a correlation between consumption of pork by-product and negative health effects, regardless of any charitable intent behind consuming said pork by-product.
FDA Bans Sale of e-Cigarettes to Minors, Ensuring Minors Will Never Want to Try e-Cigarettes
The FDA has attached an air of danger and rebellion to a product that makes its users look like they’re smoking a fucking kazoo.
Student Puts Zero Effort into Term Paper Proposal, Hopes Trilateral Commission Is Interesting
After completing his cursory research, Simonides wrote his 200-word proposal in a matter of minutes and rewarded himself for his diligent efforts with four hours of Netflix and video games.
New Windows Phone Voice Assistant Asking Users: “Did You Mean to Purchase an Android?”
Post Sex Week PSA
Man on Paleo Diet Successfully Hunts Down Chicken Cutlet in Refrigerator
WHO Says Sugar Intake Must Be Halved; Pixy Stix Now Cut with Flour
[Denial Issue] It’s Not Alcoholism, I Swear
What, are you all going to lord my mistakes over me just because I commit them on a weekly basis?
Dead “Snake Salvation” Pastor Clearly Only Read the First Ten Pages of The Bible