1. Northwestern University’s undergraduate campus isn’t in Chicago; it’s in Evanston. Mixing this up will send a message that you haven’t done enough research. Stay away from referencing the city of Chicago, and instead reference beloved Evanston institutions like The Keg or Mayor Tisdahl.
“We could definitely use you Foresters right about now,” said a wincing Fitzgerald to Lake Forest officials, which participated in the founding of the Big Ten in 1895 while never actually joining the association.
“What a very precious set of buildings, faculty, and staff,” said Dr. Schutt. “It would be an absolute shame if something were to happen to all of it,” he continued, petting his cat.
The donation was announced last week, with much of it going to finance new projects to examine “collaborative, constructive, and mutually beneficial relationships between governments and journalistic enterprises.”
“There is no meaning or hope in this universe devoid of stability, sacredness, and our best two players,” said Fitzgerald. “There is only the inevitability of misplaced anticipation and false prospect colliding headfirst with the reality of despair and inevitable defeat.”
West outlined the positions he was looking to fill in a long series of tweets. “I need interns to drive my Benzes around, even when I am not in them… I need interns to act as food testers… I need interns to feed me grapes while I listen to my own albums…”
The Latin Kings, an international organized crime gang based in Chicago, have been recruiting more students at Northwestern than the religion of Christianity.
Silverman went on to explain that while the demand for other majors may wane in the future, the need for Mohels will be constant. “Engineers are all going to be unemployed once the economy collapses, doctors are all going to be replaced by pills one day. But, as long as Jews keep making baby boys, there are going to be good jobs for Mohels.”
The offer comes with a full-ride scholarship to Northwestern University, which is projected to charge tuition of over $200,000 a year by the time of West’s possible matriculation in 2031.