University Wonders Why Students Didnât Check Emergency Alert Posted To YikYak Immediately After Shooting
In a press conference, President Michael Schill expressed surprise at the criticism.
Author Archives: Flippy
Northwestern Baseball Team Realizes Theyâve Been Holding Their Bats The Wrong Way After Twelfth Straight Loss
“…thin goes for the win.”
Itâs that time of year! Bolsonaro supporters and new pledges reflect on shared experience of ârushing seasonâ
âFor all of the students rushing, itâs all about âbeing in the house where you belongâ and âfinding the house where youâre going to fit in,ââ Sandro explained. âThat is what this is about too. The presidential Palacio de Alvadora is not the right house for Lula.â
Congress Decides to Choose Speaker of the House Based on Twitter Poll
Former Speaker Nancy Pelosi expressed concern over this strategy of selection. âIâm just worried that if a Democrat wins, Republicans will throw another tantrum,â she remarked, trying to frantically re-download the app, but instead downloading Grindr. After hearing this statement, Congresswoman Lauren Boebert threw herself on the House Floor and began kicking and screaming.
âYou want a what?â Tappa Tappa Keg Brother Fails to Serve âNegroni, Sbagliato, with Prosecco in itâ
Confused. Disturbed. Upset. These are how people felt after the incident this week at the TTK darty. Following the event last Saturday at TTK, several brothers are under fire for their poor bartending abilities after being unable to serve the âdrink of choiceâ of several attendees. Though the Panhellenic Council has asked for an apology, TTK has failed to issue a statement. Grant Liepzig, the brother manning the keg, stands by his tending-performance. More focused on âbringing good vibesâ than
Rogue Engineering Professor Found Tampering with Bikes of Students who Failed Midterm
e wanted to display real-life consequences to the unfortunate students who bombed last weekâs midterms. Groppenheimer claimed that he proved these students unfit to study engineering because âIf they had learned anything from my class, they wouldâve been able to fix the bikes.â
Fun Fall Activities to Try when Your Horny Roommate Sexiles You for the Fifth Time This Week
Itâs that time of year again. Leaves are turning hues of crimson, white girls are donning the baggy-sweater-and-leggings look, thereâs a chill in the air, and â your horny roommate is texting you âcan u stay out tonight?â for the fifth time this week. Thatâs right, youâve been sexiled. Your first instinct may be to get mad, but try to remain calm. Remember, roommates are people too! They have needs! What was your roommate supposed to do when he encountered
Breaking: Red Line Has Declared Independence
âAll these people wearing powdered wigs got onto my train car and just started debating and writing on some scroll of paper.â
Hairball in the Communal Shower to Lead Conference on Diversity, Equity and Inclusion
One committee member spent 69 hours weighing the pros and cons, and literally weighing the hairballs themselves, to determine the leader of the conference.
Ancestral Ojibwe Call for End of Land Acknowledgements: “We Don’t Want Anything to Do With This Football Team.”
After Northwesternâs humiliating loss to Southern Illinois University, the Ojibweâno longer wanting to associate with such an embarrassment of a football teamâpulled out from their weekly game-time land acknowledgment. A land acknowledgement, recognizing the ancestral land upon which a particular activity or sports event takes place, is typically conducted at halftime during Northwestern football games. Vice President and Associate Provost for Diversity and Inclusion and Chief Diversity Officer Dr. Robin Coleman spoke out regarding the confusing omission at Saturdayâs game.