Roommate Mumbles Communist Manifesto in His Sleep
“I’ve never had a history of sleep talking and, more importantly, I’ve never read the damn thing!”
Author Archives: Flippy
Suite Mate Shocked Nobody Appreciates Her Accordion
Despite hours of intensely practicing George Michael’s hit singles, she reported being told to “shut the fuck up,” and to “douse that piece of shit in oil and light it up.”
Area Vaper Having Hard Time Sourcing Locally
“I’m a college student paying over $60,000 for tuition, and $15 dollars per thing of e-juice. There should be cheaper options in the area.”
Clowns Nationwide Having Trouble Juggling Work and Play
“The only time I have to myself is on my walks through the woods near the kindergarten.”
PA Group Found Dead in Human Knot
Brian McNulty, one of the workers who found Group 193, described the scene as “the single most confusing thing I have ever stumbled upon.”
‘Sexy Morty’ Costume Back in Stores This Halloween
The costume has already sold out through online pre orders, but Norris assures that they will restock soon.
Area Freshman Watches a Lot of Porn
Stevens said that he first started worrying about his roommate when he “walked into the room one night at 1:15 a.m. to find Jason sitting in the dark at his desk, watching porn and eating Pad Thai.”
The duck why this fallen: 2016 Dillo
10:07 – red bull walking around? Giving out energy. Tastes like hand santitizer fucked an old eaten melon.
BREAKING: Caitlyn Jenner Just Sneezed
Following her famous photoshoot for Vanity Fair, media sources have confirmed that Caitlyn Jenner has indeed just sneezed.
High School Student Thought Dillo Was Better Last Year
After the last act for Dillo day was announced earlier this week, Evanston Township High School junior Erik Swanson reported that he thought the lineup was much better last year.