California Student on Zoom Call Shows Everyone How Sunny His Backyard Is
âHuh? I donât remember what background anyone had. Besides, canât you just set your virtual background to anything?â
Author Archives: Flippy
Iron Man to be rebranded Fe Male for International Womenâs Day
With International Womenâs Day right around the corner, we kinda recognized that having a womanizing playboy as a central character in the Avengers is not the move.
Mr. Ratburn Endorses Buttigieg, says He Best Represents the Gay Elitist Rat Demographic
“If me and my husband are cute enough to get every conservative state but Alabama to run our wedding on childrenâs network television, Pete and Chasten are for sure cute enough for any other issues with his platform to just get totally overlooked.â
McCormick Student Retakes Rice Purity Test, Finds Score Went Up
âWhen I came here, I had a purity score of 100,â attested Annie Eisenbower, McCormick â23, âbut when I changed into my jammies, after a spirited debate about the role of metaphysics in the world of meta-metaphysics with some colleagues, it went up to 102.â
Ask Flippy: Whatâs a Simp And Why Does Everybody Keep Calling me One?
Jessica is just so beautiful and pretty and sexy and gorgeous and wonderful and sexy and hot
Outback Steakhouse Faces Backlash for New âForest Fire Fajitasâ
The CEO Outback Steakhouse denies all wrong-doing, claiming each time that the dishes were just âthe marketing team having fun with alliterationâ and had no relation to current events.
Iran Releases List of 52 American Cultural Sites to Bomb, 43 Burger King Locations, Other 9 Jimmy Johnâs
Some of Americaâs most coveted cultural traditions find their roots in a handful of these Burger King locales.
In Complete 180, The Daily Northwestern to Publish Names, Numbers, and Addresses of All Student Protesters
Weâre not going to let little things like âjournalistic integrityâ and ârestraining ordersâ stop us.
Hong Kongers Acclimating To Democratic Changes, Reportedly “Can’t Complain” About Chinese Rule
“I suppose I canât say anythingâs wrong…no, I literally canât say anythingâs wrong.â
Following Lead of âAvoiding Glutenâ Station, Allisonâs Kosher Station Rebrands to âAvoiding Sinâ
President Morton Shapiro, after consulting the University Board, released in a tweet that by 2020, Northwestern will be officially renamed âAvoiding UChicago.â