Breaking: “We Are Charlie Kirk” To Be Featured on Just Dance 2027
Definitely-not-AI-generated hit song “We Are Charlie Kirk” by celebrated artist Spalexma will be featured on the 2027 edition of popular video game Just Dance.
Author Archives: Flippy
Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei on War Ceasefire: “Jesus Christ Is My One True Lord and Savior”
Reporting from Tehran, Iran. Although the outbreak of war between the United States and Iran seemed destined to happen since the late Ayatollah Ali Khamenei came out in support of the full release of the Epstein files, less easily predicted was President Trump’s recent reversion to the Islamic Faith by reciting the Shahada on his Truth Social account. Not to be outdone, however, the new Supreme Leader of Iran and son of Ali Khamenei, Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei, publicly announced his conversion to Christianity by proclaiming
El Mencho Killed By Mexican Forces, El Muncho (Me) Next
You get a little too amorous with somebody in the passenger seat of a 2002 Subaru WRX outside of a Denny’s ONE TIME, and suddenly, it’s all you can ever be known for.
Cockapoo, Chiweenie, Neapolitan Mastiff, and 5 other dog breeds that double as names for your dih
Is your dih both classy and girthy? Does it have lots of wrinkles and loose skin? Consider naming it Neopolitan Mastiff!
Booktok’s New Sensation, A Forbidden Romance Between A 6’4 Reformed Playboy ICE Agent And The 4’11 Mixed-Race Honduran Maid He’s Deporting Hits Shelves This Week
ICED OUT, the newest novel by New York Times Best Selling Author Phoebe Horn, is expected to hit shelves across the nation later this week.
From the archives: “Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me? Both! History’s most sexually-charged assassinations”
Following the recent wave of assassinations, people have been quick to point the finger at whomever they most distrust, from Radical Left Lunatics to Christian fundamentalism. Here I will examine how overwhelming sexual desires that drove people to murder with 4 famous cases of sexually-charged assassinations, according to NU econ and history professor and passed-up Nobel Prize nominee Dr. John Hornington. Roman Emperor Commodus strangled by his wrestling partner “Of all Roman Emperor assassinations, this one seemed the most fitting,”
Breaking: Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq To Come Out of Hiding After Dick Cheney’s Death
As news of the death of former Vice President Dick Cheney made its way to Iraq, the Weapons of Mass Destruction began to emerge from hiding after a 22-year disappearance.
Ask Flippy: What is the best ratio of razor blades to candy to give to trick or treaters?
Buy as many razor blades as candy (hypodermic needles work too) and place them inside the candy. Snickers are my favorite, but other similar candies are acceptable. It helps to build a reputation as “the Snickers house” so kids come back.
Trump Announces the Release of the EpiPen Files after RFK Jr. Announces that Food Allergies Cause Autism
Yesterday, the EpiPen files were released, concluding an RFK Jr.-ordered investigation that determined food allergies to be the root cause of autism.
Breaking: Girl finds out that the rapture has nothing to do with velociraptors “I thought it was, like, the same thing?”
A Northwestern student woke up on September 23rd expecting to find a dinosaur in her dorm room, ready to end her time on the mortal plane.