Author Archives: Flippy

Deshaun Watson Links Recent Browns Success to Philanthropy Efforts

Following the Cleveland Browns 3-1 start to the 2026 NFL season, their best start since 2021 and the first time the team has been in sole control of first the lead in the AFC North since 2014, quarterback Deshaun Watson attributed the team’s success to their attempts to give back to the community. “I’m a big believer in karma,” Watson remarked following the team’s 27-24 victory over their AFC North rival in the Pittsburgh Steelers. “I truly believe that all

Covid-conscious Lesbian Bar Set to Open in Norris Soon; Does not Accept Meal Exchanges

Last Ditch will replace Luna’s Pub and Grill as another overpriced option serving students who are comfortable spending half their quarterly dining dollars for one meal. Last Ditch offers more than just food, though—it offers an experience. In addition to safe-sex vending machines, Last Ditch is part of Northwestern’s goal to help students have safe sexual experiences– or, as they repeatedly told the Freshmen, “good fucking sex.” 

Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei on War Ceasefire: “Jesus Christ Is My One True Lord and Savior”

Reporting from Tehran, Iran.  Although the outbreak of war between the United States and Iran seemed destined to happen since the late Ayatollah Ali Khamenei came out in support of the full release of the Epstein files, less easily predicted was President Trump’s recent reversion to the Islamic Faith by reciting the Shahada on his Truth Social account. Not to be outdone, however, the new Supreme Leader of Iran and son of Ali Khamenei, Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei, publicly announced his conversion to Christianity by proclaiming

From the archives: “Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me? Both! History’s most sexually-charged assassinations”

Following the recent wave of assassinations, people have been quick to point the finger at whomever they most distrust, from Radical Left Lunatics to Christian fundamentalism. Here I will examine how overwhelming sexual desires that drove people to murder with 4 famous cases of sexually-charged assassinations, according to NU econ and history professor and passed-up Nobel Prize nominee Dr. John Hornington. Roman Emperor Commodus strangled by his wrestling partner “Of all Roman Emperor assassinations, this one seemed the most fitting,”

« Older Entries