Jimmy John told reporters. “Now they have something else out of the toilet to work for—being decent enough at a sport to earn Charmin’s soft, gentle kiss.”
69 sweatshop workers, of which 68 were lazy, slacking children, were reportedly trampled, maimed, or otherwise injured during the event.
The paranormal need to sample your drinking tendencies doesn’t care for your school’s non-denominational winter break one bit.
“We cannot definitively say whether the impact of COVID was positive or negative, only that it existed” said lead researcher Daniel Hamphery. “Honestly if you guys could spread it around some more that would make it much easier for us to see what’s up in the future.”
“The bond that John and Anna Marie share is akin to that of a chemical bond between two francium atoms — unbreakable.”
“This trendy sweater can come in an array of colors and patterns to nail your socioeconomic struggles to a tee. Warm tones give off a sense of tension between the ugly, puppy-kicking, businessy businessman and the sensitive farmhand that Eloise has fallen truly, madly deeply in love with.”
She so brilliantly did a quick WebMD search for me.
But what’s even crazier is that it seems like my work is at its peak when the coughs around me are particularly nasty. Or in simpler terms: the wetter the better!
Older relatives across the United States are expanding their horizons.
You fucked up. You really fucked up.