“It Wasn’t Anti-Semitism,” Says Organization Responsible for MLK Assassination
“Trust us, no one knows how to terrorize minorities like us. If this was a hate crime, we would be the first to know.”
In appeal to youth, Luke Figora begins signing off emails as “Figgy Smalls”
He told Flipside reporters (accidentally, via secret microphone hidden inside his phone’s PopSocket) about the reasoning behind his decision: “I think they’ll take my emails more seriously if they see I’m one of them… Maybe we should start thinking about sending them Kik messages too, apparently no one uses AOL anymore lolz!!”
Elmo Escalates Feud by Declaring War on Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
Johnson decided to step into the ring with the furry three-and-a-half-year-old, saying that he’ll be “coming to Sesame Street to kick ass and eat cookies, and he’s all out of cookies”
Ask Flippy: I Want to Write a Novel, But I’ve Never Fought in the Spanish Civil War or Emotionally Abused a Woman. What Should I Do?
Never fear! Many authors who know nothing about women have written pages and pages about them.
New Era? Ye (Formerly Kanye) Shortens Name to
To promote the name change, West’s team rented out hospitals across the country and filled the maternity wards with banners displaying the new name.
Op-Ed: If There Are 300 Million Fraudulent Voters, Why Will None of Them Date Me?
“I don’t cry, but if I did, I would shed one manly tear into my MyPillow pillow.”
Euphoria Season 2 Drops: “Honestly We Just Had a Lot of Rhinestones Left Over that were Going to Go to Waste”
“You haven’t seen that much color and sparkle since your childhood best friend vomited Superman ice cream all over the inside of a Claire’s.”
Op-Ed: Wait, My LinkedIn Job Post Was Self-Congratulatory?
Deep down, I know I earned this internship by trading massive amounts of my inheritance on Robinhood every day.
“Omi-Cron Kenobi” officially least favorite character in Star Wars/CDC multiverse
Reports from test audiences found Kanobi to “get under people’s skin”.
Freshman with broken leg really making the walk down Sheridan all about them and their crutches, huh?
I mean, he must be in pain, after all…even if the wincing and hobbling theatrics are for sure a liiiiiittle much.