What They Donāt Tell You About Crack: āHoly Shit This Stuff Is Fucking Great!ā
Itās so great, I actually can’t imagine what my life would be like without my beloved crack, I really canāt!
Call Me Crazy, But that UFO Came Down in the Field by my House in 2012 and When the Little Aliens Came Out They Told Me to Shoot John Lennonās Abused Son Julian Lennon
Look, man, I admit maybe I shouldnāt have drunk that whole bowl of ayahuasca brew that uncontacted tribe in Paraguay sent me, but I swear to you Iām not messing around here. Call me crazy if you want, but that UFO came down in the field by my house in 2012 and when the little aliens came out they told me to shoot John Lennonās abused son, Julian Lennon.
Op-Ed: Norovirus Outbreak In Elder Hall Comes To An End As I, Diego Guerrero, Become The Last Surviving Elderite
It continued until the outbreak ended and I returned to my dorm to realize that I, Diego Guerrero, have become the last surviving Elderite.
I Came From The Streets: A Study Of Asphalt Fetishes
All across the world, itās not that unusual for some people to have strange fetishes. Feet, hybristophilia, lactophilia, even coprophilia. Of course, whatever gets your socks off and gets you turned on really isnāt anybody elseās business. However, recently a phenomenon has been sweeping cities across America: asphalt fetishes. āI Came From The Streetsā — a breakdown of tarphelia. Signs of the modern fetish first began appearing in America in the 1930s when many roads began to be paved as
If We Want to Save America, We’ll Have to Put on the Best Talent Show That This Town’s Ever Seenļæ¼
RACHEL BERRY: Freezing federal funds? Pardoning rioters? Detention center in Guantanamo? Donald Trump has gone too far this time.
Op-Ed: To Smithereens Is The Best Way To Be Blown
Call it what you want, but thereās nothing like being blown to smithereens to calm me down after a stressful week.
Trump Bans Nintendo Switch 2 From US Stores Under the Guise that Nintendo “is China”
āRainbow Road? Mario, an undeniably Mexican name? Women driving? Itās ridiculous they expect our kids to play this indoctrinating, woke nonsense.ā
A Day in the Life Having the Memory of a Goldfish: My reeeeeef
Marty was an average fish; he worked at a travel agency and dealt plankton on the side to make ends meet. He had a wife and 1000 kids; they all played Go Fish together on Sunday evenings. His home was adorned with fancy eggs and it had these beautiful seaweed curtains on the windows. He had everything that a suburban fish could wish for — white-picket fence and all. And, much like Job, he lost everything. On that fateful day, he was attending the reefās fishtivities, celebrating a year of being kelp-neutral.
Trump Repeals Two-Gender Executive Order After Mistaking “DogMan” For The New Third Gender: “Now That Sounds Cool.”
And while Trump vows to devote his time in office to taking away the rights of the LGBTQ+ community, Trump says he fervently supports the D (as in Dog) community.
Ask Flippy: The Doctor Said My Joints are Messed Up. How Do I Show this Clown I Roll the Best?
Dear Flippy, Last week I went to the doctor for a long-overdue checkup (Iām United Healthcare and figured they probably wouldnāt want to deny my claim). Overall, Iām in good health! My blood pressure is down to 170/100, and my doctor said my weight is in the 95th percentile for my heightāwhich means lower than 95% of the population. How could he tell Iād been dieting? Thereās just one problem: He said he was worried about my joints. Something about