Ask Flippy: Which Soul Currently Inhabits You?
Do I need to call a lawyer?
Ill Kellogg Students Report The Hat Man “Actually Really Good” At Consulting Interviews
After his first ten years in the Shadow Lands between human consciousness and the turbulent, virus-ridden hivemind underscoring the entire known universe, the Hat Man even returned to Bain for six months as an executive recruiter.
Top 10 Organs To Sell For NU Basketball Tickets
Do you REALLY know what your kidneys do, anyway? Here’s to never finding out.
Wait, What?? Bay of Pigs Invasion, Mutually Assured Destruction, and Other Cold War Terms That Aren’t Actually Slang Terms for Sex!
I know, even I was shocked this made the list! I also use this to refer to my rock hard penis all the time. And no, this is not pronounced “Intercumtinental Ball Listic Missile”!
RETROSPECTIVE: The Brutal Reign of Despot Tyrant Xanthe Brown
“It vill [sic] be the start of something new,” an anonymous source close to the president (herein called Kizzy Illian) shared. “My comrades and I seek the liberation of all members of the Flipside and Northwestern at large; and with support from those directly involved with the Supreme Leader, we believe she will be ousted summarily.”
Local Student Cashes In Childhood State Quarter Collection To Buy Plan B
As it turned out, one entire book of state quarters doesn’t even cover a Plan B pill, even if the Michigan quarter is from 1962.
As Climate Crisis Intensifies, Jonas Brothers Re-Release Hit Song As “Year 2100″
The new track features a sick freestyle verse from Greta Thunberg, remixed over the death wails of a choking sea turtle.
New York High Schoolers Compete to Date DiCaprio: “We Need Someone to Buy Us Beer”
“We needed someone to buy us beer,” said Josie Cuervo, a junior. at Stuyvesant High School. “Then my friends and I heard Leo DiCaprio was sniffing around for younger women to date. Seemed to me like this might be the beginning of a beautiful partnership.”
Heartwarming: Northwestern Basketball Rekindles Relationships Between Hundreds of Estranged Fathers and Daughters
“In high school, I was lucky if my dad could remember my best friend’s name or what grade I was in. Now, we talk for hours on the phone about our favorite players on the team and he knows absolutely everything about them. It’s crazy!”Â
Bribery, Groveling, and 3 Other Ways to Get Off the Waitlist for That Class You Need to Graduate
The odds that your professor has done something problematic that has ended up online are incredibly high. All you need to do is find the evidence.Â